ads
Wednesday, July 21, 2021
How to Respond to the Border Bully
But my husband at the time was not always supportive. He comes from an older generation (yes, he was a BIT older than me). He had a much different upbringing. He didn't approve of a woman out alone at night. He thought it was dangerous.
Whenever I had an event to attend, he would pepper me with questions. “Who’s driving? Is your friend coming? Where will you be and when? Who will you meet up with?”
Responding to a border bully—even a well-meaning one—can be a challenge. You want to stay kind without losing your cool. Here are a few tips to help you out…
Look for the Nugget
I knew I could easily dismiss my husband's concerns. I could try to negate everything he was saying. But instead, I looked for the valuable nugget in his concern—that someone should know where and when I would arrive at my destination.
I recommend thanking border bullies for their input then answering their questions. “But only give enough information to be kind. I told my husband who I was meeting. I also gave him the phone number of a friend ot two who was atending with me as well as the contact information for the location the event was being held at. He was comforted but not overwhelmed by the details of people and places he did not know.
Ask for Support
Most border bullies just want to support you. They may show this by asking lots of questions (like my husband) or pointing out potential problems, and giving you unsolicited advice and suggestions. Don’t get upset or walk off in a huff when this happens.
Instead, you could patiently say, “Oh, thanks for letting me know about that issue. If you were in my shoes, how would you solve it?” By following up with a question, your loved ones feel like you value their opinion and they’re more likely to become your biggest cheerleaders.
It’s OK to Walk Away
Sometimes, a border bully can’t be supportive. No matter what you say or do, they can’t understand why you’re following your vision or chasing that dream. They may make cutting remarks or constantly make you question yourself.
If someone can’t respect your dream, it’s OK to walk away. This might mean limiting your time around that person, keeping your dreams to yourself, or avoiding contact for a while. This doesn’t mean that you don’t love the border bully; you’re just limiting the impact they can have on your goals. Border bullies are easier to deal with once you know what to say and do. Let them know that you hear their suggestions or concerns and thank them. They’ll feel appreciated and heard.
Friday, July 9, 2021
What Motivates the Border Bully?
Border bullies can make your life frustrating. But stopping them can sometimes be difficult. It can be helpful to identify the root cause that’s making your border bully act out. Here are three common reasons people respond to your dreams negatively…
True Concern for You
When I was stationed in Hawaii, my sister came to visit. She loved the islands. She found a job, met her future husband, and decided to stay instead of going home once her vacation was over.
After some discussion, we decided she would live with me and help with my daughters while my husband was deployed. Perfect plan. I had help with childcare. She had a place to live until she got established. But out mom was terribly upset and worried that something bad would happen. She kept coming up with “what if?” scenarios. What if I suddenly got transferred and my sister had no place to stay. What if my husband returned from deployment and decided he didn't want my sister staying there. It didn't matter what we explained to her. She had another possible reason why it might not work.
Like my mom, the border bullies in your life might be the ones who are closest to you. Because they love you, they’re more likely to resist change for fear it will negatively impact your life. They want to see you stagnate rather than be hurt.
Co-Dependency
My friend Laura battled alcoholism for years. On her thirtieth birthday, she decided to turn her life around. She started taking positive steps by attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, reaching out for support, and talking about her journey.
When Laura’s husband began to reactive negatively to her changes, Laura was bewildered. She spoke with a counselor and asked, “Why is someone who loves me trying to sabotage my sobriety?”
As Laura shared more about her relationship with her husband, the counselor suggested that he might be co-dependent. When she's drinking, he gets to step in and be the hero. He fixes the problems her substance abuse causes and without her alcoholism, there’s nothing for him to do.
Fear of the Unknown
When I retired from the Navy, I wanted to go back to school...in my forties. I'd always had a passion for science, but when I was first attending college, money was tight. Although the Navy had always been part of my plans for my future, the cost of college caused me to enlist rather than finish college and go after my commission
But now that I could afford to go, especially since my employer had a tuition assistance program, I was eager to start again.
My husband actually meant well. He was worried about the unknown and all the things that could go wrong. As an OTR trucker at the time, he knew he wouldn't be much help if something happened. He didn’t want to see me struggle to find employment or once again grapple with the overwhelm of home, work, the girls, and now college.
It’s exhausting dealing with a border bully. But you don’t have to let yours throw your dreams off track. You can respond to a border bully in a way that’s both patient and kind.
Wednesday, June 9, 2021
Have You Ever Heard Of A Border Bully?
In the book, The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson, the main character, Ordinary, discovers he has a dream and decides to pursue it. But the land Ordinary lives in is filled with people who prefer to stick to the status quo, so his dream chasing makes them uncomfortable.
As he is leaving his land to
pursue his dream he runs into Border Bullies. These are people who love him and
want to protect him, but perhaps their concern is more about protecting
themselves. If you suspect you’re encountering Border Bullies in your own
journey, here are three common signs to watch for…
Border Bullies Want You to Play Small
When you're chasing a dream,
you're going to make other people uncomfortable. If no one in your family has
ever owned a business, then trying to start one may cause your loved ones to
worry about you.
They care and are
well-intentioned but they keep pointing out all of the reasons you can’t do it.
They might say the economy is bad, that you’ll never earn enough, or that your
idea just won’t work.
Border Bullies Keep You from Growing
You’ve been trying to lose
weight for ten years. Now, you’re beginning to see some success. You’ve shed a
significant amount of weight and you’re starting to feel good about yourself.
Your weight loss has given you confidence and energy.
But now you’re hearing
concerns from family and friends. They downplay your accomplishment, make
unsupportive remarks, or flat out tell you that you’re bound to gain all of
that weight back.
What you have to understand
is that border bullies aren’t just worried about you—they’re also worried about
what your action says about THEM. If you bust out of the usual way of doing
things, what does that say about everybody who stays where they are? Understand
that your loved ones may feel judged or abandoned.
Border Bullies Fill You with Doubt
You spent years working hard
to get out of debt. Once you had achieved that, you started saving up to spend a
year living in Italy. You’ve been preparing for your trip for a few weeks.
You’ve looked into courses on learning Italian. You bought a guide book so
you’ll know which sights you want to see. You’ve applied for your passport.
But now here come the
doubts. Your friends are always telling you why you can’t go to Italy for a
year. Maybe they insist that you’re an adult and it’s time to act like one.
Maybe they tell you that your goal is unrealistic or dangerous.
What you have to keep in
mind is that stepping out of the ordinary will freak out the people around you.
They’ll feel sad about the idea of you leaving or worry that you’ll forget
about them. So they begin tossing roadblocks your way in the hopes that you’ll
abandon your dreams.
It’s draining to deal with
border bullies. Fortunately, there are a few solutions that can help put their
minds at ease and give you the peace you need. In the meantime, you’ll want to
grab a copy of The Dream Giver and read it to get a full picture of what it’s like to
encounter border bullies.
Tuesday, May 25, 2021
How to Build Your Social Media Audience
I've talked repeatedly about B-E-S...Build, Engage, Sell. And of those three, building your audience is most important. And there are plenty of people out there telling you how to do that...including me, of course! Here's my input:
If you aren't growing your audience every day so that you always have fresh, interested people to talk to, you're wasting your time. It's the only way to ensure you never run out of people to talk to.
Where to Build Your Audience
Where do you want to build it? Again, everyone has their preference of social media platforms. I say go where you are comfortable, enjoy interacting, and where your target market also hangs out.
The most popular, according to marketers, are:
- Email (yes, email is considered social media)
- YouTube
- TikTok
But there are tactics and strategies you can use that will help you build a presence that attracts people to you. And that is what attraction marketing is all about. Following the ideas posted here will put you way ahead of the the game.
I want to hear from you, too. Any tips or tactics that I missed? Let me know in the comments below!
Tuesday, May 11, 2021
10 Sources for Content Creation Ideas
Content creation seems challenging at times. How do you come up with ideas for content on a regular basis?
You don’t have to spend hours each day trying to come up with content ideas. There are plenty of free and premium tools that can inspire you and showcase what your audience really wants from you. Here are a few you can use:
Keyword Tool.io
Keyword Tool.io is one of the most comprehensive keyword tools available. That’s because this unique website pulls keywords from several popular content sites including Google, YouTube, Bing, Amazon, eBay, and App Store.
With so many different search options, you’ll be able to rank well in Google and YouTube. One of the reasons it’s so effective is because this tool pulls keywords from real Google autocomplete searches.
Answer the Public
Another alternative that you may want to consider when looking for keywords is Answer the Public. You can use the site to see what questions users search for answers to. For example, you can type a topic like ‘puppy training’ into the search box.
Answer the Public will then display a list of questions that those seeking this information often ask. Seeing these questions can inspire you to create new content since you know what information is really important to your community.
Buzz Sumo
Buzz Sumo is another keyword tool you can use for your research. But it has more than one feature that makes it an excellent choice for marketers and small businesses. The most exciting option is that you can enter a keyword and see which links have been ‘most shared’ in your niche.
For example, if you type ‘puppy training’, you’ll see a new story about puppies that’s been shared over 173K times on Facebook. You can use this feature to help you create content that’s more likely to go viral.
Moz Keyword Explorer
You may also want to consider Moz Keyword Explorer when you’re looking for fresh content ideas. You can use this keyword tool to look at the search engine results page (SERP) rankings of the sites that rank on page 1 of Google. This can provide you with insight into which websites will be your biggest competitors.
Google Trends
It’s not enough to simply know a keyword is popular. You also want to know when during the year it’s most popular. This is important because it helps you plan your content in advance so you can get the most traction possible. That’s why you want to use Google Trends when you create your content strategy.
For example, you may know wedding preparations is a popular keyword in May, right before all the June weddings. But what you may not know is it’s also a very popular keyword in late November due to couples planning their spring nuptials.
Semrush
Semrush is one of the most popular keyword tools available today. That’s because the data it provides is comprehensive. You can see which keywords are popular by country, view organic search keywords, and study the CPC of paid traffic. You can also see related keywords. This can show you which terms you’ll want to use in your content. For example, you might find that puppy training isn’t as popular a keyword as you thought. You might discover that most of your community uses the term dog training instead. This insight is valuable because it helps you discern what your community is really looking for.
Let
Your Community Inspire You
The good news is there are lots of ways to get your community to help you. Not only is this a great way to drive engagement, it also gives you the chance to be inspired by your fans. Here’s how to reach out:
Create a Poll
Sometimes, content creation can be slowed because you have too many choices. For example, you run a cooking blog and you’re about to launch your latest series. You’re not sure if your community would prefer a new batch of dessert recipes or brunch ideas.
You don’t have to make this decision yourself. You can create a poll and ask your followers to share their thoughts. You can use a WordPress plugin to add a poll to your website or you can use the poll feature on a social network like Twitter.
Broadcast Your Questions
Twitter isn’t the only social network you can use to gather insights from your fans. You can also use Facebook’s livestream feature to create your very own broadcast. While you live stream, Facebook goes to work, notifying your followers that you’re live.
Take advantage of this perk and ask your viewers questions while listening for their responses. But don’t make your question vague like, “What should I write about?” Instead, ask questions that encourage conversation such as, “What was the last news story that made your blood boil?” or “Who always encourages you when you’re having a difficult day?”
These questions can prompt you to come up with fresh content ideas. If you do end up creating content from these conversations, be sure to thank your watchers for their insights and ideas in the finished product.
Send Out Surveys
You may also want to try sending out surveys to your audience. You don’t have to create anything complex. You can even use a simple website like Survey Monkey or Alchemer.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to get responses when you create a survey. One way to get around this problem is to offer a small, valuable prize in exchange for participation. For example, one brand gave away $5 Amazon gift cards to participants who completed their survey. One marketer offered participants a coupon code to get her latest book for free.
Encourage User-Generated Content
When you’re really stuck on what to post, consider letting your fans help you. One lipstick company encourages their buyers to post to social media using a branded hashtag. Then the content manager selected the best pictures and created a blog post titled, 15 Lipstick Tips to Make Your Lips Look Fab. Inside the post, Instagram photos from users were embedded.
Before the post went live, the content manager reached out to each participant and had them sign waivers. Then to show their gratitude, each Instagrammer received a special t-shirt in the mail. It was a simple way to thank fans for the user-generated content. You can use a similar tactic in your own business. Invite your followers to post content to your brand hashtag. Then let their responses inspire you to create even more amazing content.
Tuesday, April 27, 2021
The Ultimate Social Media Marketing Battle Plan
Wednesday, April 14, 2021
Get Access to Some Great Stuff...Absolutely Free!
That’s right! FREE! I have compiled an awesome collection of stuff all designed to help you grow your business.
Some of it was created by me.
Some was created by other top marketers and given to me with permission to share with my folks.
You can have FULL access for FREE by simply submitting your information here!






