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Thursday, October 10, 2019

Create the Life You Crave

If you've read my story then you know I have often been faced with some tough circumstances...a divorce, a seriously ill child, unexpectedly caring for an aging parent, loss of my business, cancer. At each of these moments I could have made the decision to just throw in the towel and quit. But momma didn't raise a quitter! I made the choice to battle on. Sometimes that involved making drastic changes. Sometimes it was just a matter of changing mindset. But every time it involved making the decision to not get stuck!

It’s easy to get stuck in one place—maybe you’re stuck in a job you hate or a relationship that’s keeping you from growing. Although it won’t be easy, you can create the life you crave. Here are a few key ways to do that…

Own Your Intention

Just saying you’d like to do something different or wishing for your life to change isn’t enough. If you truly want your life to look different, you have to be specific and own your intention. For example, you could say, “I want to move to Texas next year” or “I want to start my own business in six months”.

Once you’re clear on what you desire, you can begin working toward it. Many people explain that “things just fell into place” once they knew what they wanted. That’s because the energy of your desire attracts what you need to fulfill it.

Set Small Goals

With your intention clarified, it’s time to begin setting goals. It’s smart to keep these goals small and easily achievable. When I moved my dad to Arkansas, the first thing I did was clean out his apartment.  

It’s OK if your goals seem very tiny at this stage. Remember, each step is feeding into your larger goal. By creating a string of tiny goals, you’re setting yourself up for easy victories. As you accomplish more, you’ll start to gain momentum and before you know it, you’ll have achieved your big goal.

Operate from Power

When you set a goal, you will encounter obstacles and setbacks. I was in the middle of finals week in college when I learned I had cancer. So she re-adjusted my plan to focus on my treatment and recovery and made arrangements to write papers from home while recovering as my final exams.

The important thing when you face these setbacks and obstacles is that you operate from a place of power. It’s easy to let things throw you off track and become a victim. For example, you might say, “I can never start an online business because I never have the money” or “I can’t move because my family isn’t supportive”.

Instead, shift your thinking and focus on how you can overcome what’s holding you back. You might say, “Hmm, I can babysit a friend’s children for $20 tonight and have the money to buy my domain name” or “I can begin researching the safest neighborhoods in my new city to comfort my family and bring them on board”.

Read Inspiring Books

While you’re in the middle of making big changes in your life, it can be helpful to read content that encourages and motivates you. A wonderful book that you might find eye-opening in 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.

One book that can help you hang on during the difficult moments of a life change is Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. When you’re in need of a quick pep talk, read for You Are A Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life.
 
You can create the life you crave at any moment you choose. State what you want, own your power, and step into all of the amazing things God has in store for you!

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Forging a New Path (When You Can't See the Old One)


I was living my dream.  We are family that serves so I had followed the path and was currently on active duty with the Navy.  We were stationed in Hawaii - paradise!  I was married to a fellow member of the military.  Granted he was a Marine, but I loved him anyway!  We had two great kids.  We spent our off duty time going to the beach and basically just enjoying the island lifestyle.

But three years into our tour in Hawaii, I discovered some secrets about my marriage.  It wasn't quite as perfect as I had thought.  I am not going to go into details here.  But I was devastated.

In the coming months, I lost everything I had loved.  My husband through the divorce.  My stepdaughter who left with her father.  We sent our kids to private schools and excellent daycare because of our dual incomes.  Now I was struggling to afford just basic necessities.  (In divorce, the 2nd income leaves.  The bills often don't).  My own daughter became seriously ill and I was overwhelmed with trying to care for her and still work.  I didn't get a promotion I should have because I was so tired and stressed that I just couldn't get it together to study for the advancement exam.  I was basically looking at life from a whole new perspective...starting over.

Maybe you’ve found yourself in my shoes. You’ve lost everything and you have no choice but to rebuild your entire life. But you’re not sure what that process should look like exactly.

Let Go

Start by letting go. Think about the things that are no longer serving you.  I had spent years devoted to my husband and family only to lose half of them.  For a long time, I could only focus on what I’d had.

A friend encouraged me to stop looking backward. You can’t move forward in your car if the gear is stuck in reverse.   Terrible things happen to everyone. You don’t get a choice in that. What you do get to decide is what gear you’ll put your life in.

Create New Traditions

Sometimes, the hardest part of starting over is letting go of habits that we loved. We were financially set and so the girls and I could afford to go shopping for new clothes once a week. Now we couldn't afford that.  We had many friends in common and went to Sunday brunch or weekend dinners.  Now many of them felt like they had to choose sides.

When you’re forced to start over, missing these traditions is painful. But don’t get caught up in sitting around wishing for how things were. Create new traditions that honor what your life looks like now. For example, you could invite your closest friends over on Sundays for game day or spend the time you use to go shopping to refashion old items in your closet.

Design Your Vision

When you’re forging a new path in live, it’s easy to get focused on what you don’t want. For example, if you’re leaving a bad marriage, you may swear off romantic relationships or a certain city.

While these blanket statements may make you feel good, they don’t help you create more of what you want in your life. This is where a vision board can be helpful. You can use one to create a positive image of the new life you’re looking to make.

Rebuilding your life after adversity isn’t easy. But you have the smarts (and the power!) to do it. Embrace this season of rebirth in your life!

Friday, September 27, 2019

How To Overcome Setbacks & Obstacles

I had been trying to make my network marketing business work for years. Then my dad came to live with me and I really needed to be able to work from home. When I finally found the right coach and mentor, I began to see some success. Now, I was able to actually recruit people and sell products. I was actually making money and caring for my dad and I looked forward to each new day.

But just as I was finding my groove and seeing some success, I began to see a change in the company...one that I didn't feel comfortable with. When I heard that they were under investigation by the FTC, I was disappointed. I knew I couldn't in good faith continue to promote them. I felt like it was just a matter of time before they were shut down (and I was right). It felt like a huge setback and I wasn’t sure if I could overcome it.

Have you ever been where I was? You felt like you were in your groove. You were on your way to achieving an important goal then something made the brakes screech to a halt.

Now you’re left wondering how you’re supposed to deal with this latest setback or obstacle. The good news is there are a few things you can do to turn this obstacle into an opportunity…

Reframe It

When you encounter a setback or obstacle, you might be tempted to turn it into a catastrophe. You say things like, “I knew this would happen! Nothing goes right for me and I can’t do this!”

Instead of looking at this problem as the end of your journey. Challenge yourself to see it differently. For example, you might say, “I’m really bummed that ABC happened. But I can use this as a learning experience and grow from it.”

This simple attitude flip puts you back in the driver’s seat. Instead of being a helpless victim, you re-affirm that you’re in charge and you reclaim your power.

Make an Action Plan


Not all of your solutions have to be realistic or even ideal. The important thing is that you begin brainstorming and thinking. As you stay open to new ideas, you may just come across the perfect solution.

Ask a Mentor for Help

If you have an action plan but don’t know which option is the best, reach out to your mentor or a coach. Share what you’re walking through and your top 3 solutions. Then ask for their advice.

Be prepared to listen—even if you don’t like the answer. Your coach or mentor may have a suggestion that you hadn’t considered before. Don’t be quick to dismiss a new idea. Instead, quiet your inner ego and listen. You never know what you might discover!
Facing an obstacle is never easy. But you can overcome anything that life throws at you with the right attitude and a solid action plan.

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Finding Your Way Back

I had a wonderful life. I was on active duty with the Navy, stationed in Hawaii. I had been married to my Marine Corps husband for 5 years and we had two children.

Then one day, my husband announced he was leaving me and cleaned out the joint bank accounts. My whole life changed in the blink of an eye.

Maybe you’ve been where I was. Perhaps a partner walked out and left you alone or maybe you’re facing a different but equally serious crisis—like losing a loved one, being diagnosed with a serious illness, or losing your job. In these moments, it’s hard to know what to do. If you find yourself feeling lost, here’s how to start finding your way back…

Take the Time to Process

The worst thing you can do during a crisis is to run from your feelings. If you try to bottle them up, these feelings will just come out in other ways. Usually, these are self-destructive activities like overeating, drinking to excess, or medicating yourself.

Instead of ignoring these feelings, lean into them. If you need to cry, scream, or vent, then do it. Write a lengthy journal entry about how much you hate your ex. Call up your best friend and cry on her shoulder.

Remember, your feelings aren’t good or bad. They’re just emotions and you may feel a whole range of them. For example, when dad died, I felt relieved more than anything. But the relief quickly morphed to guilt.

I shared my feelings with a friend who pointed out my dad had been suffering from Alzheimer's for years. I watched him struggle and slowly lose touch with all that he was. She reminded me of how terrified he was of having to go into a home. The relief came because I knew that now he would never face that fear. It didn't make me a bad person.  Emotions simply are.

Do the Next Thing

When a crisis strikes, it’s tempting to look at the big picture and freak out. You might wonder if you’ll be alone forever. You may worry that you’ll never be able to rebuild your life or be happy again. These fears are normal and they’re part of walking through a crisis.

But it’s not helpful to think too much about the future when you’re going through trauma. It’s much smarter to simply focus on the next thing you need to do. For example, instead of thinking about the surgeries you have upcoming or the hundreds of decisions you’ll have to make now that you’re a single parent, look to the present.

What’s the next thing you need to right now? Is it to go to the pharmacy and pick up your medications? Or put on food for dinner?

Decide what the next task you need to do is and give it all of your attention. You don’t have to worry about how everything will turn out. Instead, keep putting one foot in front of the other.
This even works with your business.  We call it Zero-Level Marketing.  It's the bare minimum you need to do every day to keep your business afloat.  So don't worry about trying to expand while you are dealing with trauma.  Choose the one or two tasks that you can do every day to keep you present in the mind of your market.   

Practice Self-Care

During a crisis or major life event, it’s important that you take time out for yourself. This means making sure your own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are met. Try to eat healthy foods that energize your body. Go for a walk in the sunshine. Color or do another calming artistic activity.

This may seem like the worst time to practice self-care but it’s actually the best. You need to be at the top of your game during this crisis and you can’t do that if you’re not feeling your best.

Don’t be afraid to set aside ten minutes to do something relaxing—meditate, cuddle with your pet, focus on your breathing, read a short inspirational writing, stretch, or watch a funny YouTube video.
Finding your way back after a crisis takes time so be patient with yourself. It will be a long, winding road with plenty of twists and turns. But you’ll get there and when the journey is over, you’ll be glad you kept moving forward.

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Have You Gotten Thrown Off Course?


We've all been there.  Life is moving along at a good pace.  Your business is growing.  You're making progress toward your goals.  You're excited about what the future holds.

For some of us, that is the story of our lives.  But for others, everything changes in a moment.  You encounter disaster, disease, or discouragement.
But you’re not alone. Here is my story, along with the stories of two other women, friends of mine, whose lives were thrown off course by events outside of our control…

Facing Disaster

Betty was a stay-at-home mom who loved being with her kids.  She and her husband had saved for years to create their dream home in Joplin, MO.  Then they’d built it themselves, only outsourcing to two contractors where necessary.

You all know the story of Joplin.  On one spring afternoon, a tornado ripped through the town. It destroyed many buildings including Betty’s home. Fortunately, no one was in the house when the twister touched down.

Dealing with a Diagnosis

It was time for my regular GYN visit.  I went to these faithfully, twice a year.  Why twice?  Isn't the normal schedule once?  Yes...for most women.  But I always went twice.  Once for my normal checkup when I would inevitably be told they had found "atypical cells."  And I would be advised to come back in 6 months for a followup...just in case.  I had been going through this routine for years.  I had been feeling a little run-down and tired.  But still, when I went to the doctor, I was expecting to be told that the results were normal (this was the followup), and that all was well.

So I was stunned when the doctor told me I had cancer and explained that because of my exposure to DES, it appeared to be particularly aggressive.  I had always considered myself healthy and the new diagnosis caught me by surprise.

Encountering Discouragement

Lydia was a network marketer and the sole breadwinner in her family. She loved that her products helped so many people. When she was finally making enough to quit her regular job, she was ready to take the opportunity.  She looked forward to her next scheduled work day so she could turn in her notice.

After years of hard work, Lydia had finally achieved her dream…right as the company closed with no warning. 

Your life can change in an instant through no fault of your own. Adversity can strike at any time and throw you off course. The good news is that you can overcome these circumstances and continue to build a beautiful life even after devastation.

How do you find your way back?  When all your plans for the future are suddenly turned upside-down, how do you keep moving?  That's the subject of my upcoming series.  Don't miss it!



Sunday, September 15, 2019

Using Live Events to Grow Your Business

Attending my first ever live multi-day event back in 2000 literally changed my life and my business. Up until that point for about two years, I had been working as an event planner for a site selection company.  This was my first foray into doing something other than a regular job.  I was an independent contractor!  I was making okay money. But not enough that I could actually quit my regular job quite yet.  I knew I needed to find something else.  I either needed to find a way to better market my services.  Or I needed to find a totally new job.  At that time, starting my own business - other than the network marketing I was involved in, didn't even enter my mind.  But one of my event clients was hosting an internet marketing seminar.  Maybe I could learn something about marketing there.  That's why I attended.

Because of some fabulous opportunities I had to meet other successful people and to learn from some of the best minds in internet marketing, three weeks after that event, I dived headfirst into the world of online marketing and network marketing.  This was when my dad moved in with me and I needed to be able to work from home.  I knew I could make everything work, thanks to all I had learned and the connections I made.  I've never looked back!


At first, registering for a multi-day live event possibly even in another state, might not sound very budget-friendly. I mean a ticket can be in the hundreds or thousands of dollars, not to mention airfare, the hotel stay and meals. But if you choose the right event to meet your needs, you can benefit from that one single event for years to come. You never know exactly what will happen at a live event, but if you go knowing you will get an amazing outcome, then you will!  My experience with just my first live event has led me to:

  • Meeting other marketers in person and being asked to help with their events.
  • Building friendships with key business owners that have led to profitable joint ventures, affiliate relationships, and having my products and services promoted to others who would not have known me otherwise, leading to more sales of my products and services. 
  • Had a professional photographer shoot some headshots of me that I used in my marketing.  She was at an event I spoke at and took photos of all the speakers. This was one of those "you never know what'll happen" moments.
  • Being interviewed on an internet radio program where I was able to spread my message far and wide.
  • Meeting people who have become instant clients and others who I've developed longer-term relationships with who became clients years later.
And all because of who I met and what I learned at that first event.

Of course I've since spoken at and attended many other live events and I've learned a thing or two about choosing the right one. You've got to attend the right event to make sure you get the best return on your time and financial investment. For the best results, I look for events where:
  • I will learn something useful for my own business during the sessions.
  • I will likely meet people interested in my products and services.
  • I will have an opportunity to meet and mingle with the speakers in an intimate environment (instead of being lost in a sea of thousands).
  • I will have time to network with others as part of the event at breaks, meal times and after hours.
  • I will meet others serving a similar market as me so I can create joint ventures and become an affiliate for others, all leading to more cash for ME!
Be picky about the events you attend and you'll be amazed at the huge return you'll get. Just one idea or one connection could lead you to massive success!


Thursday, September 5, 2019

It's So Predictable!

I am cracking up right now...seriously!  What's so funny?  People.  People are funny.  

Here's the scoop...

If you are part of my mailing list, you got an email the other day.  In it, I invited guests to attend a webinar with Mark Harbert.  Yes...THE Mark Harbert.  The topic was how to put your lead generation on autopilot.

It was an awesome webinar.  Really high level stuff.  Mark shared the exact funnel he uses to attract new prospects all day long. People pay big money for the information he shared, but he gave it to my folks for free.  So that's not what has me laughing so hard.

The reason I am cracking up right now is that the subject line of the email I sent was NO BULL INVOLVED...

I explained to my coaching class why I used that subject line and why it was so irresistible.  And no, I'm not sharing that in a blog post.  It's for my folks only.  Sorry!

But right now I am giggling as I just saw that the open rate on the email was over 50%!!!  That is unheard of!  And I knew it would happen.  A good email open rate is 37% and yet I consistently get open rates of 50% or higher.  And I am not an email marketing expert.  So if I can do this, so can you.


I spend my days on a crusade to teach people that you do not need to be an internet pro to get silly results.  You don't need to know much about hits, clicks and analytics to make money.  The answer lies in understanding PEOPLE and what drives them.  Once you understand that, the rest is easy.

I don't worry about driving people to my website with SEO or crazy marketing funnels.  Sure, I use them.  Every marketer should use all the available tools.  But I focus mostly on my email list and this blog.  Why?  Because they work.

There are only two things online that are totally yours.  Your blog and your list.  Social media platforms can come and go.  Algorithms change.  Technology changes.  But your blog and your list are yours.  So if you are listening to the people that tell you email marketing is dead or that blogging is unnecessary, you are listening to the wrong people.

And once you have these tools set up and running, you can use them to focus on your PEOPLE and on learning what makes them tick and giving it to them.

So let me ask you...do you know why the subject line NO BULL INVOLVED was so darn irresistible?  If not, you need to brush up on your study of people.  (Maybe that's the topic for another blog post).

If you do understand why NO BULL INVOLVED grabbed attention, then good for you!  You are farther along than 98% of other marketers.  But let me ask you this.  Are you truly using this knowledge to expand your business?  Very few do.  The extent that you resist your greatness is the extent that you are ruled by other people.  Someone said that.  I don't remember who.  But it is true.  And what is so predictable...besides my email open rates...is the number of marketers who continue to resist stepping into their greatness and building their dream.  

Over 50% of my list opened my email.  A large portion of them registered for the webinar.  Many of them even attended.  But what's sad...and predictable...is that very few will actually implement what they learned.  Isn't it time that you realized that to a large extent the only thing holding you back is you?

Are you ready to stop resisting?  Are you ready to become UNPREDICTABLE?  You know you are!  Just say YES!  Then take the first step...sign up for my email list so you can be the first to hear about incredible trainings by people like Mark Harbert. 
P.S. Are you following me on Twitter?