How To Overcome Setbacks & Obstacles

I had been trying to make my network marketing business work for years. Then my dad came to live with me and I really needed to be able to work from home. When I finally found the right coach and mentor, I began to see some success. Now, I was able to actually recruit people and sell products. I was actually making money and caring for my dad and I looked forward to each new day.

But just as I was finding my groove and seeing some success, I began to see a change in the company...one that I didn't feel comfortable with. When I heard that they were under investigation by the FTC, I was disappointed. I knew I couldn't in good faith continue to promote them. I felt like it was just a matter of time before they were shut down (and I was right). It felt like a huge setback and I wasn’t sure if I could overcome it.

Have you ever been where I was? You felt like you were in your groove. You were on your way to achieving an important goal then something made the brakes screech to a halt.

Now you’re left wondering how you’re supposed to deal with this latest setback or obstacle. The good news is there are a few things you can do to turn this obstacle into an opportunity…

Reframe It

When you encounter a setback or obstacle, you might be tempted to turn it into a catastrophe. You say things like, “I knew this would happen! Nothing goes right for me and I can’t do this!”

Instead of looking at this problem as the end of your journey. Challenge yourself to see it differently. For example, you might say, “I’m really bummed that ABC happened. But I can use this as a learning experience and grow from it.”

This simple attitude flip puts you back in the driver’s seat. Instead of being a helpless victim, you re-affirm that you’re in charge and you reclaim your power.

Make an Action Plan

Now that you’re in a positive state of mind, it’s time to deal with your obstacle or setback. You need to start brainstorming solutions. Grab a sheet of paper and pen or your favorite smart device. Try to list 20 possible ways you could deal with the situation.

Not all of your solutions have to be realistic or even ideal. The important thing is that you begin brainstorming and thinking. As you stay open to new ideas, you may just come across the perfect solution.

Ask a Mentor for Help

If you have an action plan but don’t know which option is the best, reach out to your mentor or a coach. Share what you’re walking through and your top 3 solutions. Then ask for their advice.

Be prepared to listen—even if you don’t like the answer. Your coach or mentor may have a suggestion that you hadn’t considered before. Don’t be quick to dismiss a new idea. Instead, quiet your inner ego and listen. You never know what you might discover!

Facing an obstacle is never easy. But you can overcome anything that life throws at you with the right attitude and a solid action plan.

Finding Your Way Back

I had a wonderful life. I was on active duty with the Navy, stationed in Hawaii. I had been married to my Marine Corps husband for 5 years and we had two children.

Then one day, my husband announced he was leaving me and cleaned out the joint bank accounts. My whole life changed in the blink of an eye.

Maybe you’ve been where I was. Perhaps a partner walked out and left you alone or maybe you’re facing a different but equally serious crisis—like losing a loved one, being diagnosed with a serious illness, or losing your job. In these moments, it’s hard to know what to do. If you find yourself feeling lost, here’s how to start finding your way back…

Take the Time to Process

The worst thing you can do during a crisis is to run from your feelings. If you try to bottle them up, these feelings will just come out in other ways. Usually, these are self-destructive activities like overeating, drinking to excess, or medicating yourself.

Instead of ignoring these feelings, lean into them. If you need to cry, scream, or vent, then do it. Write a lengthy journal entry about how much you hate your ex. Call up your best friend and cry on her shoulder.

Remember, your feelings aren’t good or bad. They’re just emotions and you may feel a whole range of them. For example, when dad died, I felt relieved more than anything. But the relief quickly morphed to guilt.

I shared my feelings with a friend who pointed out my dad had been suffering from Alzheimer's for years. I watched him struggle and slowly lose touch with all that he was. She reminded me of how terrified he was of having to go into a home. The relief came because I knew that now he would never face that fear. It didn't make me a bad person.  Emotions simply are.

Do the Next Thing

When a crisis strikes, it’s tempting to look at the big picture and freak out. You might wonder if you’ll be alone forever. You may worry that you’ll never be able to rebuild your life or be happy again. These fears are normal and they’re part of walking through a crisis.

But it’s not helpful to think too much about the future when you’re going through trauma. It’s much smarter to simply focus on the next thing you need to do. For example, instead of thinking about the surgeries you have upcoming or the hundreds of decisions you’ll have to make now that you’re a single parent, look to the present.

What’s the next thing you need to right now? Is it to go to the pharmacy and pick up your medications? Or put on food for dinner?

Decide what the next task you need to do is and give it all of your attention. You don’t have to worry about how everything will turn out. Instead, keep putting one foot in front of the other.

This even works with your business.  We call it Zero-Level Marketing.  It's the bare minimum you need to do every day to keep your business afloat.  So don't worry about trying to expand while you are dealing with trauma.  Choose the one or two tasks that you can do every day to keep you present in the mind of your market.   

Practice Self-Care

During a crisis or major life event, it’s important that you take time out for yourself. This means making sure your own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are met. Try to eat healthy foods that energize your body. Go for a walk in the sunshine. Color or do another calming artistic activity.

This may seem like the worst time to practice self-care but it’s actually the best. You need to be at the top of your game during this crisis and you can’t do that if you’re not feeling your best.

Don’t be afraid to set aside ten minutes to do something relaxing—meditate, cuddle with your pet, focus on your breathing, read a short inspirational writing, stretch, or watch a funny YouTube video.

Finding your way back after a crisis takes time so be patient with yourself. It will be a long, winding road with plenty of twists and turns. But you’ll get there and when the journey is over, you’ll be glad you kept moving forward.

Have You Gotten Thrown Off Course?

We've all been there.  Life is moving along at a good pace.  Your business is growing.  You're making progress toward your goals.  You're excited about what the future holds.

For some of us, that is the story of our lives.  But for others, everything changes in a moment.  You encounter disaster, disease, or discouragement.

But you’re not alone. Here is my story, along with the stories of two other women, friends of mine, whose lives were thrown off course by events outside of our control…

Facing Disaster

Betty was a stay-at-home mom who loved being with her kids.  She and her husband had saved for years to create their dream home in Joplin, MO.  Then they’d built it themselves, only outsourcing to two contractors where necessary.

You all know the story of Joplin.  On one spring afternoon, a tornado ripped through the town. It destroyed many buildings including Betty’s home. Fortunately, no one was in the house when the twister touched down.

Dealing with a Diagnosis

It was time for my regular GYN visit.  I went to these faithfully, twice a year.  Why twice?  Isn't the normal schedule once?  Yes...for most women.  But I always went twice.  Once for my normal checkup when I would inevitably be told they had found "atypical cells."  And I would be advised to come back in 6 months for a followup...just in case.  I had been going through this routine for years.  I had been feeling a little run-down and tired.  But still, when I went to the doctor, I was expecting to be told that the results were normal (this was the followup), and that all was well.

So I was stunned when the doctor told me I had cancer and explained that because of my exposure to DES, it appeared to be particularly aggressive.  I had always considered myself healthy and the new diagnosis caught me by surprise.

Encountering Discouragement

Lydia was a network marketer and the sole breadwinner in her family. She loved that her products helped so many people. When she was finally making enough to quit her regular job, she was ready to take the opportunity.  She looked forward to her next scheduled work day so she could turn in her notice.

After years of hard work, Lydia had finally achieved her dream…right as the company closed with no warning. 

Your life can change in an instant through no fault of your own. Adversity can strike at any time and throw you off course. The good news is that you can overcome these circumstances and continue to build a beautiful life even after devastation.

How do you find your way back?  When all your plans for the future are suddenly turned upside-down, how do you keep moving?  That's the subject of my upcoming series.  Don't miss it!

Using Live Events to Grow Your Business

Attending my first ever live multi-day event back in 2000 literally changed my life and my business. Up until that point for about two years, I had been working as an event planner for a site selection company.  This was my first foray into doing something other than a regular job.  I was an independent contractor!  I was making okay money. But not enough that I could actually quit my regular job quite yet.  I knew I needed to find something else.  I either needed to find a way to better market my services.  Or I needed to find a totally new job.  At that time, starting my own business - other than the network marketing I was involved in, didn't even enter my mind.  But one of my event clients was hosting an internet marketing seminar.  Maybe I could learn something about marketing there.  That's why I attended.

Because of some fabulous opportunities I had to meet other successful people and to learn from some of the best minds in internet marketing, three weeks after that event, I dived headfirst into the world of online marketing and network marketing.  This was when my dad moved in with me and I needed to be able to work from home.  I knew I could make everything work, thanks to all I had learned and the connections I made.  I've never looked back!


At first, registering for a multi-day live event possibly even in another state, might not sound very budget-friendly. I mean a ticket can be in the hundreds or thousands of dollars, not to mention airfare, the hotel stay and meals. But if you choose the right event to meet your needs, you can benefit from that one single event for years to come. You never know exactly what will happen at a live event, but if you go knowing you will get an amazing outcome, then you will!  My experience with just my first live event has led me to:

• Meeting other marketers in person and being asked to help with their events.
• Building friendships with key business owners that have led to profitable joint ventures, affiliate relationships, and having my products and services promoted to others who would not have known me otherwise, leading to more sales of my products and services. 
• Had a professional photographer shoot some headshots of me that I used in my marketing.  She was at an event I spoke at and took photos of all the speakers. This was one of those "you never know what'll happen" moments.
• Being interviewed on an internet radio program where I was able to spread my message far and wide.
• Meeting people who have become instant clients and others who I've developed longer-term relationships with who became clients years later.

And all because of who I met and what I learned at that first event.

Of course I've since spoken at and attended many other live events and I've learned a thing or two about choosing the right one. You've got to attend the right event to make sure you get the best return on your time and financial investment. For the best results, I look for events where:

• I will learn something useful for my own business during the sessions.
• I will likely meet people interested in my products and services.
• I will have an opportunity to meet and mingle with the speakers in an intimate environment (instead of being lost in a sea of thousands).
• I will have time to network with others as part of the event at breaks, meal times and after hours.
• I will meet others serving a similar market as me so I can create joint ventures and become an affiliate for others, all leading to more cash for ME!

Be picky about the events you attend and you'll be amazed at the huge return you'll get. Just one idea or one connection could lead you to massive success!

It's So Predictable!

I am cracking up right now...seriously!  What's so funny?  People.  People are funny.  

Here's the scoop...

If you are part of my mailing list, you got an email the other day.  In it, I invited guests to attend a webinar with Mark Harbert.  Yes...THE Mark Harbert.  The topic was how to put your lead generation on autopilot.

It was an awesome webinar.  Really high level stuff.  Mark shared the exact funnel he uses to attract new prospects all day long. People pay big money for the information he shared, but he gave it to my folks for free.  So that's not what has me laughing so hard.

The reason I am cracking up right now is that the subject line of the email I sent was NO BULL INVOLVED...

I explained to my coaching class why I used that subject line and why it was so irresistible.  And no, I'm not sharing that in a blog post.  It's for my folks only.  Sorry!

But right now I am giggling as I just saw that the open rate on the email was over 50%!!!  That is unheard of!  And I knew it would happen.  A good email open rate is 37% and yet I consistently get open rates of 50% or higher.  And I am not an email marketing expert.  So if I can do this, so can you.

I spend my days on a crusade to teach people that you do not need to be an internet pro to get silly results.  You don't need to know much about hits, clicks and analytics to make money.  The answer lies in understanding PEOPLE and what drives them.  Once you understand that, the rest is easy.

I don't worry about driving people to my website with SEO or crazy marketing funnels.  Sure, I use them.  Every marketer should use all the available tools.  But I focus mostly on my email list and this blog.  Why?  Because they work.

There are only two things online that are totally yours.  Your blog and your list.  Social media platforms can come and go.  Algorithms change.  Technology changes.  But your blog and your list are yours.  So if you are listening to the people that tell you email marketing is dead or that blogging is unnecessary, you are listening to the wrong people.

And once you have these tools set up and running, you can use them to focus on your PEOPLE and on learning what makes them tick and giving it to them.

So let me ask you...do you know why the subject line NO BULL INVOLVED was so darn irresistible?  If not, you need to brush up on your study of people.  (Maybe that's the topic for another blog post).

If you do understand why NO BULL INVOLVED grabbed attention, then good for you!  You are farther along than 98% of other marketers.  But let me ask you this.  Are you truly using this knowledge to expand your business?  Very few do.  The extent that you resist your greatness is the extent that you are ruled by other people.  Someone said that.  I don't remember who.  But it is true.  And what is so predictable...besides my email open rates...is the number of marketers who continue to resist stepping into their greatness and building their dream.  

Over 50% of my list opened my email.  A large portion of them registered for the webinar.  Many of them even attended.  But what's sad...and predictable...is that very few will actually implement what they learned.  Isn't it time that you realized that to a large extent the only thing holding you back is you?

Are you ready to stop resisting?  Are you ready to become UNPREDICTABLE?  You know you are!  Just say YES!  Then take the first step...sign up for my email list so you can be the first to hear about incredible trainings by people like Mark Harbert. 
P.S. Are you following me on Twitter?

Great Books on Leadership

You know I love to read. It's a great way to learn new things. Reading books on the topic of leadership can help you develop and strengthen your skills. Not only that but books for leaders can inspire you, motivate you, and even boost your productivity. But if you’re not sure which leadership books to read, here are some of my favorites…


Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don't by Simon Sinek

Leaders Eat Last is a wonderful peek into the world of servant leadership. By focusing on serving their team, smart leaders create rich and fulfilling workplaces. They value new ideas and respect viewpoints that differ from their own.

Simon wrote this book after being inspired by the military. On seeing that the high-ranking officers ate after the new recruits, he realized the concept could be applied to the business world, too. This incident made him focus on the importance of serving and protecting your followers.

Developing the Leader Within You 2.0 by John C. Maxwell

The author believes that “born” leaders are rare. He believes that everyone can be a leader no matter what their occupation or personality type. His book focuses on helping people develop the traits they need to become exceptional leaders.

In Developing the Leader Within, you’ll discover leadership principles that you can apply to every area of your life—your company or business, your family, your church, or your ministry. At just 256 pages, this book is short and easy to read. It’s packed with wisdom and knowledge that will help you blossom into a true leader.

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box by The Arbinger Institute

Leadership and Self-Deception is told through a fictional character’s experiences at work and home. As he learns more about his own motivations, his conflicts at his company and in his marriage improve.

This book emphasizes the way leaders treat their people, encouraging them to focus on others. Rather than using leadership to control others, you’ll learn real strategies for influencing and impacting those around you.

Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. By Brené Brown

It takes bravery and courage to step up and lead others. It’s not about having the right answers but a willingness to ask questions, seek feedback, and learn with those you’re eager to serve.

In Dare to Lead, Brené uses fresh examples, new research, and powerful stories to illustrate each chapter. While you can use this book to improve your leadership skills at your job, it’s also filled with nuggets that are sure to help you lead at home, too.

Reading books on leadership is like having a mentor to guide you. You’ll develop your skills faster and enjoy the journey more, thanks to the wisdom of those who have gone before you.

How To Lead With Grace And Grit

Several years ago, I left a network marketing company that I had been with for years to move to another one...and I took a large portion of my team with me. I thought I knew what I was getting into. But it wasn't long after the move that I began noticing serious problems. The company had originally seemed like a fabulous company to be part of, but as time went on it began seeming more and more like a pyramid scheme.

In the beginning, the products were ones that I was proud to represent. Cell phone plans with most of the major carriers. Nutritional supplements that actually worked. Identity theft protection with one of the leaders in the industry. All at reasonable prices. The comp plan was solid. Making sales was easy. Recruiting was a snap. Many people joined just so they could get a better deal on their phone plans. Everything was okay. My team was growing their business. Then everything changed and the complaints started coming in.

I was shocked as slowly the initial products were no longer offered and instead were being replaced with things that had little to no value. The focus shifted from product sales to recruitment. People who had signed up as customers stopped buying. Recruitment became more and more difficult because no one was making any money except those of us with large downlines that hadn't been hit too badly by attrition...yet. But I new it was only a matter of time before my most loyal team members got frustrated and left. I knew that I had to step up and do something drastic if I was going to keep their trust and respect. I reached out to a mentor who advised me to take four important steps:

Evaluate What Went Wrong

As soon as you notice an issue—whether at work or at home—it’s best to take a step back and figure out what went wrong. This isn’t about assigning blame or looking for a scapegoat. Instead, your focus should be on getting to the root of the problem.

I did this by researching complaints against the company. I found that while everything had been good, the founder of the company ran it exclusively. It was only after he became seriously ill and turned control over to other parties that problems arose.

Pay the Price

Once you know what the issue is, you need to find a way to make things right. Think about who was hurt by your actions. Then brainstorm possible solutions by asking yourself, “What would delight my customers/employees/family/team?”

Sometimes, all that’s needed is a quick apology and a correction. For example, if you sent out an email to customers that gave them the wrong link, then a new email with an apology and the right link is more than enough.

But for bigger issues, like a shopping cart that breaks down, offer a little incentive to customers who complained. This can be as simple as a 25% off coupon for their next purchase.

Acknowledge What Happened

Part of being a leader is calling out yourself or your organization when you’re wrong. Don’t be afraid that doing this will hurt your image—just the opposite usually happens. That’s because people like employees, customers, and other brands respect leaders that acknowledge the truth.

So go ahead and make a formal announcement. You don’t have to call a press conference but do talk about what happened. Make it public knowledge and share what went wrong, what caused the issue, and what you’ll do to make it right.

I set up a conference call for my team and explained what had I had discovered. I told them that in my opinion, the company was no longer legitimate and that I felt it was just a matter of time before they found themselves in legal trouble. I offered to find us a new home and promised to do everything in my power to help them rebuild if they would trust me one more time. I acknowledged that perhaps I had been too quick to leave our previous company where we had been earning reliable income for the promise of a quicker path to wealth.

Create a Plan

Put on your problem-solving cap and think about how you can prevent this issue from happening in the future. For example, if the videos in your course were low-quality, then you could add a note to your pre-sales checklist to double-check the video resolution before you go live.

It’s easy to lead when everything is going well. But leaders aren’t made during the easy moments—they’re developed during hard moments and bumpy roads. If you’re facing difficulties at home or at work, don’t give up. Lean into these experiences and let them make you a better leader.

For those of you wondering, we did indeed, find a new home. Much of my team made the switch with me and we did rebuild much of what we had lost. I did lose some in the process, but we are all still connected. Who knows, they may even jump back into the biz some day. I recently got hardcore back into it! Most importantly, I retained the trust and respect of the people I had worked with for so many years.

Oh...and the company? They were eventually shut down by the FTC as an illegal pyramid scheme. Looks like that time I made the right call!