Selfies are photos you take of yourself. Usually, people share their selfies on social media websites like Facebook and Instagram. Selfies can be a helpful way to promote your products or your business and share your lifestyle.
Yet there can be a dark side to selfies. Taking dozens of selfies while searching for the right angle or obsessing over how various filters will make you appear can be warning signs that your selfie habit might be going too far.
But how do you know if your selfies are actually a bad thing? It can be helpful to ask yourself four simple questions after you snap a picture…
How Do I Feel?
I remember when taking selfies made me very anxious. So, I would change clothes until I got an outfit that I thought sent the "right" message. And then I still wouldn't like the way I looked so I would pick out a different top and change my hair. I'd try different camera angles or locations. Nothing seemed to make me feel confident.
Sometimes, a selfie habit is more about seeking external validation than anything. I used to suffer from low self-esteem because of my weight. My selfies were my way of proving that even though I was fat, I still had a great business and a great life. When I realized this, I knew I needed to make a change.
Why Am I Sharing This?
Some people take selfies as a way to document a moment and remember it later. That’s why you might be tempted to take a selfie during a fun vacation or snap a picture during that beautiful sunset.
But before you share that picture on social media, ask yourself why you’re sharing it. Are you hoping to impress someone? Are you trying to make your life or your business seem better than it really is? Are you secretly wishing to make others jealous? Or are you genuinely eager to record the moment?
How Much of My Life Am I Publishing?
When you snap a picture, take a moment to review it. Pay attention to what’s in the background of your selfie. You could accidentally put yourself or someone else at risk if you’re not careful.
If you’re walking around your neighborhood, is your street address visible? If you’re in a setting like an event or a restaurant or party, are there others in the background that might not want to be in your picture? If you’re inside the changing room at your gym, are people in the background exposed?
Am I OK If This Goes Viral?
A tasteless selfie can seriously damage your reputation and even cause you to lose business. So before you post, ask yourself if you’d want your team, customers or extended family to see this photo.
Don’t rely on privacy settings to save you. Anyone can take a screenshot and share your private photo with the whole world even if you’ve deleted the original image. Once a selfie is online, you have to assume that it may be digitally accessible forever. So make a smart choices that won’t come back to haunt you.
Selfies can be a great way to make you feel confident, document a special moment and share your success. Just make sure you’re snapping and sharing for all the right reasons.
My niece noticed her teenage daughter seemed sad one day. When she asked about it, her daughter shared that she’d been on social media. All of her friends were taking lavish spring break vacations and having plenty of fun while she was stuck at home.
After listening, my niece opened the Facebook app on her phone. She pulled up her best friend’s profile and handed the device to her daughter. “Look through her first ten photos and write down what you see on a notepad.”
Her daughter rolled her eyes but did as she was asked. When she was done, her short list read like this: Victoria is pretty, thin, has a cute boyfriend, and a good job. She’s a big fan of the Steelers and she loves rock climbing.
My niece tapped the list, “Victoria was homeless for a few months as a kid. In college, she was diagnosed with a serious digestive disease. She battled an addiction to painkillers following her last surgery. She just got out of rehab last year. But you can’t see all of that just by looking at her photos. On the outside, her life looks perfect.”
Look Beyond the Selfie
It doesn’t matter how old you are. On social media, it’s tempting to think that what you see is the whole story. But it’s important to remember that most social users are presenting a curated look at their life and their business.
It’s not that people on social media sites are trying to be deceptive. Well, not all of them anyway! It’s just that many people document their happy moments. This includes things like vacations, pregnancy news, graduation ceremonies, and weddings. In business, it means the big pay checks, the rank advances, the events and the lifestyle.
Why Social Media Can Make You Feel Bad
The downside to all of this positivity is that it can leave you feeling like you’re lacking in some ways. You might look at a picture of someone else’s family where everyone is smiling and think that your friend has a wonderful life. She is massively successful in her business and doesn't have a care in the world.
But what she won’t share are the unsupportive remarks her husband makes about her online business. She doesn’t post about her son’s struggle with a learning disability or talk about her daughter’s crippling depression.
How Social Media Affects You
Frequently comparing your life to the lives of others on social media can lead to anxiety and depression. You may find yourself asking yourself questions like, “What if I’m not as popular as her? What if no one likes my selfie? Does that mean I’m ugly? My life isn’t as pretty as hers!”
Comparing your business is just as bad. You can find yourself stressing because it seems everyone has the "secret" to success - except you. You begin to ask questions like, "What if I'm just not cut out to run a business? Why can't I get recruit more reps? Why can't I get more response on my Facebook ads? Am I just wasting money? My business isn't as successful as theirs!"
Ironically, spending more time on social media means you have fewer conversations in real life. This can worsen anxiety and depression, creating an unhealthy cycle that leaves you unhappy and isolated. It can keep you from making the relationships necessary to grow a successful business. Business is built on KLT (know, like, trust). People do business with those they know, like, and trust. And for that to happen you have to actually connect with people!
The good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck in comparison mode. You can disconnect from social media when you notice that you’re feeling bad about yourself or your life. The more you do this, the easier it will become to break social media’s effect on your outlook.
