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Tuesday, March 5, 2024

The Day The Lights Went Out on Facebook...

 

...And Instagram. And YouTube.

 I got a bunch of text messages and phone calls from people panicking because FB and IG being down meant they were losing money because they have no other way to communicate with their audience. They were having an absolute MELTDOWN and had no other way to function. It's rather disconcerting, actually, how dependent on social media so many of us have become. Including me to some extent. I was just thinking the other day that I couldn't recall the last time I used my phone for it's actual intended purpose...as a PHONE! I am very lazy about getting phone numbers from people. If I want to talk to someone I usually make calls on messenger. And it was down too!

But the one thing I have always done for 23 years now is get my best people onto my newsletter. And I have my blog. So I can ALWAYS communicate. The only two things you actually control online are your email list and your blog.

And if you are reading this then maybe you are beginning to understand why focusing your marketing just on social media...ANY social media...is not a good idea. It's a very dangerous game.

I know blogging isn't for everyone. But building an email list isn't difficult. Isn't it time you learned these skills once and for all so you are not at the mercy of a platform you can't control? If so, there are several options. Let me introduce you to the email marketing coach that taught me. Come hang out in the Smart & Sassy Business Women Facebook Group, where I will briefly go over some email marketing stuff periodically. Or do it yourself.

Beginning to build an email list is VERY simple and anyone can do it. Even YOU!

So while Facebook was down, I hopped over to Twitter...

(I know...technically it's "X" now, but it will always be Twitter to me)...

To read all the latest conspiracy theories.

Then after entertaining myself with all the foolery, I wrote my clients and team members and checked in on them. Now I'm writing this blog post and asking you how can I help you? Because losing money over things you can't control is definitely not a good thing at all. 

Let's face it. We're all hooked. Even me. I admit it. I spend way too much time on my phone. 

But writing an email is a 10 - 30 minute activity that can put you into profitability quicker than you think. And today may have been the day that makes you realize that having one is not optional if you want to have a successful, stable business. So leave a comment or hit me back on social if you are being beaten into submission today.

We can talk about whether the $9 a month my coach charges is worth it to you. Or whether hanging out in a group where I teach marketing stuff for free is the answer...as long as you're willing to wait until I decide to teach email. Or if doing it all yourself is how you roll.

Personally, I don't care which way you go, as long as you do something! Having an email list is more important than ever. Today just proved it.

 

Monday, March 4, 2024

Do You Know What You Want? What You Really Really Want?

What do you want? What do you really want to have happen? Why do you read my blog? Do you read them because you know I can help you? Do you read every post? Or do you only read it if I write a subject line that triggers you?

Are you just waiting around for someone to push you into taking action? Or have you realized that no on is coming to fulfill your dreams and the only way you are going to get what you want is to DO SOMETHING.

What do you want? What do you REALLY REALLY want?

Are you scared? Have I pissed you off? Are you going to stop reading and make a nasty comment and call me a B!%(H? Or have you finally realized that you have found someone that actually cares? Someone who's been down this path before you. Someone who knows the twists and turns.

Maybe you want to go give more money the the hot new guru of the week. Buy a course you'll never open. Sign up for a challenge you'll never complete.

Or have you finally grasped that we are already three months into 2024 and the days are slipping away.

Are you scared? I get it. I've been so scared, I couldn't move.

Are you mad? I get you. I've been so mad, I've cursed at people I love which is totally not me.

Are you just stuck? Afraid to move? I've been there. Woke up in the morning ready to "crush it." Went to bed having accomplished absolutely nothing.

I get you. Trust me. I get you more than you could possibly know. But there's a big difference between those that move forward and those that stay stuck. And it's got nothing to do with how much money you spend.

Successful people get help. They plug in. They show up. They know what they want and they prioritize their actions to get it. They don't let themselves get pulled around by the world. They make the world their oyster. And they grasp the work that is needed to get what they really want. They don't pretend that a video a week, or a letter occasionally, or going to half a dozen "networking" events is going to get them where they want to go.

What do you WANT? What do you REALLY REALLY want? Can you even answer that question? Most people can't.

And if you can, do you truly understand what it's going to take to make that happen and the help that you are going to need to make your wants become reality?

Now would be the time where a guru would make their offer. Get you all emotional and worked up and then send you to a sales page to wrestle with yourself. So you would hopefully convince yourself to buy something. Not me. That's not who I am. I just want to sell you on the idea that you are a magnificent being. I want you to see the AWESOMNESS that is YOU.

And if at some point you think I might be the teacher or consultant for you, sweet! But we're not discussing that now when you are thinking about the chance of living the life you were BORN to live.

What do you want? I'd love to hear about it if you feel like sharing. I mean...who else are you going to discuss this with? My ex-husband NEVER understood. My kids don't. My sisters definitely don't.

It wasn't until I found people who UNDERSTOOD my DESIRE for something more that I was able to turn the corner and go from counting days until my next paycheck and praying the check for the utilities wouldn't hit the bank before then to dropping $400 on an emergency vet bill yesterday and not even thinking about it.

It wasn't some magic course or webinar or workshop. It was about finding people for the first time who understood me and knew that I could do this. They didn't baby me. They didn't check my work. In fact, they often scolded me and told me that no one but ME could make it happen.

Do you want someone to hold your hand and tell you it's not your fault? Well I hate to tell you, but as I had to learn the hard way, if you are not where you want to be, it IS your fault. And the way to change that is to begin...

NOW

TODAY

A few years ago I drew a line in the sand and said ENOUGH. ENOUGH wallowing because life was going in directions I didn't want. ENOUGH crying because the marketplace was changing and technology was improving and everything was moving while I was whining that I didn't understand it. ENOUGH making it all about me feeling sorry for myself instead of thinking about my family, my team, my clients.

And then I turned to those I knew could help me and I learned.

And I did my first Facebook Live, because that was the hot thing then. In my bathrobe. With no makeup. Nothing fancy. Just me. Talking about how I was accepting the challenge to learn the skills and do the things. With NOTHING to prop me up.

Are you BRAVE enough to do that? If so, you are MY KIND OF PERSON! I'd like to get to know you better! Very much so.

Ok, I guess that's it. One of my LOOONGG posts that most won't read to the end. I'm not going to proof read it. I'm still exhausted from being up with my puppy last night. (Yes, the vet was real, my boy was SICK and I was scared). But being able to get him the care he needed no matter the cost just made me realize how many maybe couldn't afford a simple extra $400 without putting themselves in a bind, and it hurt my heart.

And so this is FROM my heart.

What do you want? After all I have been through in my 66 years I have come to the conclusion that my true passion...my calling...my WANT... is to help YOU. The people who are willing to take the time to truly believe in themselves despite all their flaws.

We all have flaws. The question is can see past them to you GIFTS? I can. And that's why I'm writing this today,

And with that. I am done. I am completely exhausted and out of words.

Hugs from me and Kai.

Monday, February 26, 2024

You Are Not a Fraud

You're on stage, ready to give a speech when suddenly you see one of the big names in your field in the audience. He's looking right at you and you know what he's thinking. The same thing you are thinking. You don't belong here. You haven't done anything to deserve this. You are a fraud.

Or you're nominated for an award. When the local news media reach out to you for an interview, you decline saying it's really not a big deal. You didn't do anything special. You are afraid to give the interview because you know if you do, everyone will see what you have always known. You don't deserve this...or any other...award. You are a fraud.

If you can relate to these stories, or similar situations, the truth is crystal clear. You are not a fraud. You suffer from a condition. One that affects a multitude of others as well.

It's called Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome is a condition that frequently affects high-achieving people and convinces them that they are unworthy of their success. This false belief can stem from many places including a feeling that you don’t belong, an overly critical upbringing, past trauma, and even your own inner voice.

Some people use imposter syndrome to push themselves to achieve even more. In these situations, you might use your fear as motivation.

You tell yourself that you have to succeed because you don’t want anyone to know the truth about you. But as soon as you accomplish one thing, you immediately begin focusing on the next one. This creates a cycle where you’re forever pursuing bigger and more complicated goals.

For others, the fear that comes with imposter syndrome breeds procrastination. You fear that you’ll do the project wrong and everyone will realize that you never were that competent to start with.

So instead of completing the project, you keep putting it off. Once the project has reached critical status, then you’ll get it done. This can be a defense mechanism as you can tell yourself that you’d do a better job if you’d only had more time.

When Are You Most Likely to Experience Imposter Syndrome?

You can experience imposter syndrome at any point in your life or career. However, there can be certain times that you’re more likely to experience it than others. These include new situations such as starting your graduate program, going after the promotion you really want, or a shifting romantic relationship.

I experienced imposter syndrome after an unexpected promotion into management. The previous manager left after only 4 months on the job. So, I was promoted.

Despite the fact that I had already been handling most of the workload for my former boss, I still felt underprepared for the task of leading my co-workers. It wasn’t until a colleague encouraged me that I began to realize I was viewing myself differently than those around me did.

The truth is that imposter syndrome often leads you to live in your head where your self-perception can become warped. Like a fun house mirror distorts your vision, you don’t see your own abilities and accomplishments accurately.

How Does Imposter Syndrome Affect Relationships?

When many people think of imposter syndrome, their first thought is of their career or academic accomplishments. But what you may not realize is that imposter syndrome can affect your relationships as well.

I was bullied throughout middle school and high school. As I got older, I found a core group of friends who loved on me and were fiercely supportive of me. But despite this, I often found myself going along with whatever the group wanted me to do.

I was afraid that their acceptance was dependent on my performance. In my mind, I had to be easygoing and not make waves in order to be considered a good friend. I didn’t realize that my friends loved me just for who I was.

It’s not just friendships that are affected. Your romantic relationships can also be influenced if you have imposter syndrome. You might feel that you constantly have to achieve to be worthy of your spouse’s attention or that you need to “do your part” in order to have your partner stay with you.

Why Are You Experiencing Imposter Syndrome?

There are many reasons that someone might experience imposter syndrome in their personal or professional life. It could be due to low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness.

For others, it’s linked to family expectations. In these situations, your family may have quietly sent you the message that it’s not who you are that matters. It’s what you do. As a result, you feel the need to achieve in order to get the validation and love that you want.

Still, it can also be linked to what you believe is your core identity. You might believe that you have to be “the responsible one” or “the smart one”. You work hard to maintain that image in front of others for fear that you’ll lose your identity if you stop performing.

What Should You Know about Imposter Syndrome?

If there’s one important message that you need to hear in the middle of imposter syndrome, it’s this: you are not alone. Many of the smart, talented, and successful people around you also experience the same fears, insecurities, and doubts as you do.

There are a host of successful celebrities, entrepreneurs, authors, and leaders that have openly admitted to struggling with imposter syndrome. Some of these include names you may already be familiar with such as Maya Angelou, Neil Gaiman, Michelle Obama, Tom Hanks, and Emma Watson.

Even with all of their success, these celebrities and successful leaders find themselves worried that they’re not all that good or talented. They think their success was a fluke or simply the result of good luck.

Yet if you’ve ever watched a Tom Hanks or Emma Watson film, you’d be quick to point out their talent. If you listened to Maya Angelou or Michelle Obama, you’d be impressed by their accomplishments.

Should You Let Imposter Syndrome Stop You?

The world is filled with people who never sing the songs in their heart, never write the books they want to, or speak out about the issues they truly care about. When the moment comes to step up, they look around and ask, “Who? Me? I’m not qualified enough.”

Then they convince themselves that they’ll be worthy or ready after more. More achievements. More schooling. More accomplishments. More, more, more.

But the world needs you now. It needs your voice. It needs the songs you want to sing or the books you want to write or the paintings you want to create. It needs you to rise up. Because you are here for a purpose. You were made to dream and dance and laugh and lead. The story of your life matters.

It’s time to overcome imposter syndrome once and for all. It’s time to stop letting this self-doubt hold you back and step into the beautiful, brave woman you’re meant to be. 

 

Friday, February 23, 2024

Cheers To You!

As we close out February, The month of LOVE, I just wanted you to know....

In case you didn't....

I love you all. I care about you I TRULY want to help you. I REALLY DO want to see you become fabulously successful.

That's all.

Friday, February 2, 2024

Overcoming Fear. Embracing Courage.

I 've been absent from this blog for quite a while. Well over a month. I've been doing some soul searching and deep inner work. 

You see, my business is heading in an entirely new direction. One that is more aligned with my heart. Which meant decisions had to be made.

New website? Revamp the old one? Did I even need a website?

Ditto with branding. New logo? New photos? What could I keep? What needed to be discarded to make room for newer stuff?

What new skills would I need to learn? Definitely needed to up my video game. Instagram. YouTube. I'm even starting a podcast. 

And this blog. Keep it? Start over with a new one? Give up blogging all together?

Decisions!

It's a little overwhelming . I am making a HUGE change in my business. And as much as I am excited, exhilarated, and enthusiastic, there is a small amount of fear. 

What if I fail?

Yes, even after 23+ years in some sort of business, I can still experience doubt and fear.

And as a more "mature' woman, navigating through it can be particularly challenging in a world that sometimes feels like it is stacked against us. If I mess this up, there isn't a lot of time to correct course. Let's be real. 66 means there are far fewer years ahead than there are behind.

However, I am here to tell you that fear, even though at my age it can be formidable, is not unconquerable. In fact, it can be the very thing that propels us forward toward our dreams.

Understanding Fear

Many years ago I wrote an article about overcoming objections while recruiting for your network marketing team. And in it I said that no matter what the objection, the root cause was always the same.

FEAR

Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of rejection. Even fear of success. It's a natural response, designed to protect us from harm. But it can paralyze us if we allow it to dictate our actions. And for women, especially older women, it can be even harder to overcome. After lifetimes of being told we have to be strong to succeed, fear can make us feel vulnerable. And that is scary in itself!

It's Time To Embrace Our Vulnerability

Contrary to what many of us have been told all our professional lives, vulnerability is NOT a weakness. It's a strength. When we acknowledge our fears and vulnerabilities, it allows us to confront them. Honestly. Authentically. By embracing our vulnerability we open ourselves to transformative experiences...like launching the project that sets your soul on fire!

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the cornerstone of overcoming fear. Stop berating yourself for feeling afraid! Would  you treat a friend facing similar challenges like that? I get clients all the time that are afraid to take a big step with their business. I certainly don't scold them! It's time we treat ourselves with the same empathy and compassion we would offer to our friends. We need to talk to ourselves with the same respect and guidance I give my clients. 

I Had To Set Realistic Goals

Obviously, since I'm here writing this today, I managed to overcome my fears, at least enough to move forward with my vision. And yes, I decided to keep this blog active. It might be different in future than what you are used to. But I think you'll actually appreciate it more! 

Breaking down my aspirations into small, manageable goals helped me overcome my fear of failure. It helped me create action steps that make my objectives attainable. I'm not so intimidated anymore! In fact, I just celebrated one of my first achievements. The successful launch of my Designing Your Best Life Vision Board Journal! And I'll be celebrating more milestones along the way!

Challenging My Limiting Beliefs

I had to realize that some of my fears stemmed from some deeply ingrained beliefs about myself and my capabilities. I won't go into all of them here. If you read enough of this blog, you know all the things I have overcome in my years. Even so, I sometimes have to challenge those limiting beliefs that can still creep in. Thankfully I am very adept at self-coaching! By questioning their validity and reframing them in a more positive light, I was able to put them aside and move ahead. 

Remember, you are not defined by your fears, anymore than I am. You are defined by your resilience and determination to overcome them!

I Have Support

I also know I don't have to face these fears alone. I am surrounded by a supportive network of ladies...friends, family, mentors...many who are also making big changes in their lives. We uplift and inspire each other. By sharing our experiences and seeking guidance, we draw strength from our collective wisdom and encouragement. If that sounds like the kind of place you'd like to hang out, you can join us here. There's always room for one more!

It's Time for Another Growth Spurt

So yes, I'm pushing forward with my passion project. It might not work out exactly as I envision it. So what? That is not the end of the road. It's a stepping stone on the path to my best life. It's an opportunity to learn and grow. I might even have time to make some course corrections! After all, I'm only 66! I have a lifetime ahead of me! And as I navigate each setback or speed bump, I get valuable lessons and insights that just help me move closer to my goal.

I have my "Power Hour" activities to help keep me grounded. Meditation. Affirmations. Journaling. Reading books on business and personal development to keep me informed. Exercise, hydration and good whole food to keep me healthy. Self-care to nourish your mind, body, and spirit is vital when you're growing.

Celebrating My Strength

I'm proud that I decided to take this step. It brings all of my strengths, accomplishments, and unique experiences and qualities together to offer something that will empower other women to do more, see more, and most importantly, BE more. 

Overcoming fear is not something you do one time and that's it. It's a continuous process. Every new experience can result in growth, self-discovery, and empowerment if you'll let it. As women, we are inherently resilient. It's in our blood! We have the fortitude to face our fears with courage and grace. It's in our genes! I know I am not the only one facing big changes right now. Some of them of our own choosing. Some of them out of our control. And some of you may be afraid. Embrace those fears! Use them as a catalyst for transformation. You have the power to conquer them! It's already inside you! 

Dare to DREAM.  And when you dream, dream BIG! Dare to aspire. Dare to fearlessly pursue your passions and purpose. Come join me! Together we will rise above fear and forge a brighter, bolder future for ourselves, our families. And maybe even for generations to come!

Sunday, December 10, 2023

Ending Overwhelm with Essentialism

As a business owner, I love helping my clients. But because I teach on marketing topics, I receive a lot of messages from them asking questions and sharing problems they've encountered,

It finally got to the point that I was spending most of my time in my inbox, replying to customer emails. I was overwhelmed and frustrated. I was afraid to take a break from my computer because I want to be on-call for my customers.

This created problems in both my business and my personal life. I felt like I was chained to my desk. Then I read the book Essentialism and learned to ask three questions about every task.

Does This Have to Be Done?

Think about your business and what you want to accomplish with it. Then consider why you're completing your current task and if it's truly necessary for the health of your business. If it's not necessary, they why are you doing it? Could you just let it go?

I know that answering customers emails is essential. But I also noticed that I receive some of the same questions again and again.

To answer these questions faster, I created this blog, and some ebooks, and now a YouTube channel. When I get a common question, I copy and paste the link to the information directly into the email, saving me time. And as customers learn about these resources, they now often go there directly instead of emailing me.

Is This Important or Merely Urgent?

Important tasks are the ones that move your business forward. They get you closer to meeting your goals. Posting fifteen updates on your Facebook page might seem urgent but it's not necessarily important.

Urgent tasks feel important but they don't get you closer to meeting your goals. An example of an urgent but not necessarily important task is replying to comments on your social media posts. Sure, it feels good to monitor those little heart notifications. But unless it is a request for info or a question about your business, it isn't vital to reaching your current goal. Save it for when you're scrolling during your lunch break or while having your morning coffee.

Can This Be Done by Someone Else?

It can also be helpful to ask if a task can be handed off to someone else. Many business owners think of outsourcing as an expense. But it's smart to think about it as an investment. That's because you'll be able to work on the areas of your business where you shine without constant interruptions.

Answering these three questions can reduce your feelings of overwhelm. To make it simple, choose to implement these questions in one area of your business first, like customer support, social media promotion, or list-building. Once you start seeing results, you can apply these questions to another part of your business that you want to overhaul.