After a 12 - 14 hour day, it was back in the car for the hour drive home. Then it was dinner and dishes. By the time I was finished for the night it was almost time for bed. I was exhausted and frustrated that there was no time for me.
When the weekend finally arrived, my husband or the grandkids would want to do something fun. But I was so tired or behind on household chores, I frequently said no. And forget about trying to expand my business. I barely had time to keep what I had already built running.
Now, I wanted to be
more spontaneous but I was not sure how to make it happen. I just knew something had to change.
Create Margin in Your Life
One day after listening to me complain, my sister suggested I start by cutting back. I couldn't be
more spontaneous because I scheduled every minute of the day with
tasks from the time I got up until I went to bed. There was always so much to do. Meals to cook. House to clean. Laundry. Yard work. The list was never-ending. But my sister made me realize that trying to be the perfect wife, perfect housekeeper, perfect everything while still working basically 14 - 16 hours a day, including the round-trip commute, was impossible. So what if we ate out more often or all of our meals weren't prepared from scratch. The house didn't have to be company-ready all the time. Laundry could be done one day on the weekend.
While having plenty on your
to-do list may make you feel productive, it can also keep you from creating the
life you want. But building margin in your life doesn’t have to be difficult.
It can be as simple as blocking off two hours in your day planner each week.
Make no plans for those two hours and see what happens.
Embrace a Positive Attitude
If you’re going to add more
spontaneity to your life, you need to keep a positive attitude. When you’re
upbeat and positive you’re more likely to try (and enjoy) new things. That means you might find new ways to fulfill obligations, spend quality time with family.... (gasp) try something innovative with your business!
When I’m nervous or worried about serving a new meal for dinner (my husband is not adventurous when it comes to his food), trying something new with my business, or
doing something new with the family, I often remind myself that all of my "obligations" will still be there tomorrow, or that hubby just might find another favorite food, or that even if my new business tactic doesn't work, I will have at least learned something.
Do It with a Friend
Sometimes we fill our to-do list deliberately. We may be hesitant to step outside of our comfort zone and embrace new experiences. A full schedule provides the perfect excuse to say no. But you don’t have to
tackle something new all by yourself. You can always bring a friend along to
enjoy the journey with you. Maybe that means booking an extra plane ticket if
you’ll be exploring a new city or meeting up to try a new Pilates class
together.
When you and a friend do
activities together, it strengthens your bond. It helps you grow closer and
gives you fun memories that you can both cherish for years to come.
Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
Give yourself permission to
laugh! When you approach an adventure with a serious mindset, you drain all the
joy from it. So what if your first painting doesn’t look like a masterpiece?
Who cares if your body wiggles like gelatin while you try belly-dancing? Does it really matter that your first YouTube video wasn't polished and perfect if it got your message across?
The important thing is that you
have fun. You can explore new hobbies, challenge your boundaries, and discover
more about what makes you happy and productive.
I listened to
my sister and gradually lightened my schedule. I found my family was actually okay with my new choices and happier because I wasn't always exhausted and irritable. And I discovered that being spontaneous is easier when you
create space for it.
