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Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Have You Ever Heard Of A Border Bully?

In the book, The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson, the main character, Ordinary, discovers he has a dream and decides to pursue it. But the land Ordinary lives in is filled with people who prefer to stick to the status quo, so his dream chasing makes them uncomfortable.

As he is leaving his land to pursue his dream he runs into Border Bullies. These are people who love him and want to protect him, but perhaps their concern is more about protecting themselves. If you suspect you’re encountering Border Bullies in your own journey, here are three common signs to watch for…

Border Bullies Want You to Play Small

When you're chasing a dream, you're going to make other people uncomfortable. If no one in your family has ever owned a business, then trying to start one may cause your loved ones to worry about you.

They care and are well-intentioned but they keep pointing out all of the reasons you can’t do it. They might say the economy is bad, that you’ll never earn enough, or that your idea just won’t work.

Border Bullies Keep You from Growing

You’ve been trying to lose weight for ten years. Now, you’re beginning to see some success. You’ve shed a significant amount of weight and you’re starting to feel good about yourself. Your weight loss has given you confidence and energy.

But now you’re hearing concerns from family and friends. They downplay your accomplishment, make unsupportive remarks, or flat out tell you that you’re bound to gain all of that weight back.

What you have to understand is that border bullies aren’t just worried about you—they’re also worried about what your action says about THEM. If you bust out of the usual way of doing things, what does that say about everybody who stays where they are? Understand that your loved ones may feel judged or abandoned.

Border Bullies Fill You with Doubt

You spent years working hard to get out of debt. Once you had achieved that, you started saving up to spend a year living in Italy. You’ve been preparing for your trip for a few weeks. You’ve looked into courses on learning Italian. You bought a guide book so you’ll know which sights you want to see. You’ve applied for your passport.

But now here come the doubts. Your friends are always telling you why you can’t go to Italy for a year. Maybe they insist that you’re an adult and it’s time to act like one. Maybe they tell you that your goal is unrealistic or dangerous.

What you have to keep in mind is that stepping out of the ordinary will freak out the people around you. They’ll feel sad about the idea of you leaving or worry that you’ll forget about them. So they begin tossing roadblocks your way in the hopes that you’ll abandon your dreams.

It’s draining to deal with border bullies. Fortunately, there are a few solutions that can help put their minds at ease and give you the peace you need. In the meantime, you’ll want to grab a copy of The Dream Giver and read it to get a full picture of what it’s like to encounter border bullies.