Some of you may know that my first marriage was not good. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for
years. When we finally divorced, I had to start the process of rebuilding my entire
life. Most days, I felt fragile as glass and feared I’d been permanently
broken.
Fortunately, I had two things going for me. I was still on active duty where I didn't have the option of not getting up and moving every day. And I had supportive friends who encouraged me to see myself differently. I am not damaged or broken. I am fierce and fearless. It
takes a warrior to live through what I did and survive. I am stronger than
I sometimes give myself credit for.
It doesn’t matter whether it was a bad day, a horrific
marriage, or the loss of a loved one, we all survive circumstances that leave
us feeling anything but strong. It’s easy to feel weak, like you have to hide who
you are.
But with time and patience, you can reclaim your fierceness
and own every part of your story….
Lean into
Your Values
The first step to becoming fierce is to define your values.
Whether you realize it or not, your values drive every decision you make.
If you look back at the moments in your life that you most
regret, chances are you’ll see that you stepped on your values in some way.
Maybe you said “yes” to a relationship, job, or commitment that wasn’t a good
fit.
But defining your values can feel tricky. There are hundreds
of different values and you want the ones you choose to be true to you. That’s
where a course like My Values Workshop can be helpful.
Focus on
What You Want
What you focus on often expands. This is great when you’re
focused on values that matter to you and inspire you to be your best self.
But it’s easy to get into the habit of focusing on the
negative. The more you say things like, “I don’t have enough time” or “I can
never afford anything nice” or “I’m not fierce”, the more these things become
your truth. You live them out even if you don’t want to.
Have an
Opinion
When someone else asks you where you want to go to eat or
what to do with an empty Friday night, you don’t pipe up. You say something
like, “I don’t care. Whatever you want to do is fine by me.”
Maybe you think this makes you easygoing or laid back. But
often, the root behind a lack of opinion has more to do with not valuing
yourself. You matter, too. Your thoughts and feelings matter and your opinions
count.
Own Who You
Are
Be proud of who you are and what you stand for. If you’re an
artist that sees the possibility in everything, honor that. If you’re the
writer who spins stories to entertain yourself or others, honor that. If you’re
the photographer that feels compelled to capture all of the special moments of
your day, honor that.
Don’t shrink back, afraid to shine for fear someone else
will be dimmed by your shadow. There’s more than enough light to go around!
