I was always motivated. I took action. I was just taking the wrong kind of action. And so it was very hard to understand people who didn't take action. And I certainly didn't understand this "why" thing. My "why" was obvious. I wanted more money. And so it came as a big surprise to me when a few years ago, I lost all motivation.
I've never shared this with anyone, but I was so lost, I went back to work at a JOB! Granted it wasn't your typical 9-5 job. I was working as a trainer for a large company. Lots of freedom. Travel. Good money. But still, I was trading my time for someone else's money.
I didn't understand what had happened. I just knew my business didn't excite me like it used to. And then one day it hit me. I HAD LOST MY WHY!
When I started my business I NEEDED money. But more importantly, I needed the time freedom to care for my dad and to be there for my kids.
My family is the most important thing in my life. They were my why. My dad, my daughters, my husband were my LIFE! But time moves on. My dad passed. My daughters are all grown with children of their own. They have moved away with their husbands and families to start their lives and pursue their dreams. My husband was busy with his career. No one needed me anymore.
What do you do when your whole reason for everything suddenly disappears What do you do when your need to work like crazy is gone because you created residual income? And now there is nothing that you have to do. Nowhere that you have to be. And suddenly you realize what it's like for all the folks you have been telling to find their why.
You sit down to write a blog post or record a video and go BLANK. You have no words. There is nothing to say. I have said it all already. It's what got me here. Is there more in me to share? And then you pray. And you wait until a feeling comes. Until a voice inside you says, "Now you understand. There are people that need to hear what you have learned."
This was my lesson that I needed to hear. I understand now what "know your why" means. I understand why it is so hard to take action when that why isn't present.
So if you are still struggling to find your way, trust me, I understand. And the things I have learned through this experience are these:
It doesn't do any good to beat yourself up over it. It doesn't do any good to walk away. It just makes things worse.
What DOES work? For me...
Seeking inspiration.. Music. Books. Meditation. Prayer.
SILENCE. Because if you ask and then are still and listen long enough, you WILL hear something that will guide you to the people, to the place and to the things that will once again move you forward.
I also learned something else.
Your why is never about money. Yes, I needed money. But the reason I needed money was LOVE Everything I have built was built out of love. The love for my family that made me want to do whatever it took to be there and care for them when they needed me. Money made that possible. It gave me the freedom to allow my dad to live with me until he passed. (Alzheimer's sucks)
To be there for my daughters as they watched their biological dad drift out of their lives. (Divorce sucks).
But the money is not what drives you. If it were, wouldn't everyone be out there getting rich?
I have so much more that I have discovered and I'll reveal it all. But in the meantime, love yourself.
And ask - in your prayers, in your meditations, in whatever way you seek guidance, "Why have I been given a desire to have a business and yet not been give the DIRECTION?"
And then be still and LISTEN. See what speaks to you.
And if I can help in any way, let me know.
I can teach you how to market all day long, but I can't give the FIRE Just like no one could give it to me. It emerges when you are ready. When you have learned whatever the universe is trying to teach you. And when it does, watch out world! Here you come!
