When it comes to social media, boundaries are important. If you have too few boundaries, you could end up oversharing. This can lead to damaged relationships in real life and depending on what you’re oversharing, the loss of your reputation.
To stay comfortable and confident on social media, use these tips…
Set Helpful Limits
Rose liked to lie in bed and surf social media on her phone before going to sleep. But after doing this for several weeks, she noticed the habit was increasing her anxiety and making it difficult to get a restful night’s sleep.
Try this: next time you’re on social media, take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Are you getting anxious? Are you comparing your life or business to someone else’s?
When it comes to social media, one of the smartest things you can do is to create limits for yourself. You may decide that you’ll only check in on social media once a day or you may want to set a time limit when you browse.
Ban Negativity
Your friends on social media are entitled to their opinions. But that doesn’t mean you have to hit like on every single one of Aunt Betty’s political rants or inform your sister that she shared a fake news story (again).
You can choose to hide status updates from people that are consistently negative or that bring you down. A good idea to follow is the three strikes rule. If someone is negative on social media for three posts in a row, hide them.
You can hide friends on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks without having to unfriend or unfollow them. The other person never gets notified that you’ve hidden their content. It’s a great way to distance yourself from unkind remarks and unnecessary drama.
Create a Separate Account
Nicole creates art that makes people think. She likes to explore controversial themes in her work and she’s not afraid to push the envelope. But some of her family members don’t agree with her views and aren’t supportive of her creations.
So, Nicole started a private Instagram account where she shares her art. This allows her to post about her hobby without dealing with negativity from her relatives.
Just like Nicole, you want each of your social media profiles to serve a specific purpose. You might have a Facebook account for staying in touch with distant family and loved ones. But you might dedicate another account, like Instagram or Twitter to sharing your business content.
Social media can be a wonderful tool for connecting and communicating and promoting your business. To get the most out of each network, keep your social feed positive and uplifting. Follow people who inspire you and share your own thoughts authentically.
The people closest to you may not always be the most supportive of your business. They might be too familiar with you to see what makes you special. Family and friends, who can be the greatest source of love and acceptance, can also be a great source of criticism and frustration.
With social media, you get the chance to connect with others based on your shared interests. People who 'get' you can do a great deal to lift your self view and increase your confidence.
So, how do you connect with others and build your own supportive tribe?
Join Online Communities
Start by joining groups. Facebook has a group directory that you can browse. You can find groups based around hobbies, careers, or lifestyle.
Look for groups that have a few thousand members and are active with users regularly posting. Some group owners may have a form consisting of 2-3 questions that they’d like you to fill out. Answer as truthfully as possible. You don’t want to be deceptive and risk being removed from the group later.
Pay Attention to Privacy
Keep in mind that privacy settings can vary by group. On Facebook, an open group is one where anyone can see the posts, even people who aren’t members of the group. That means if you post in a discussion in an open group, your friends may be able to see it with a bit of digging.
But Facebook has another option called closed groups. Anyone on Facebook can see who the members are, but in order to see the discussions taking place, you have to join the group. This can be ideal if you want to participate in a group but you don’t want your posts seen by everyone on social media.
Respond to Posts
Once you’re approved to join a group, you can go ahead and dive in. Try to comment on three recent threads. Make your comments personal and don’t be afraid to share your unique perspective.
Aim to respond to a few threads throughout the next week or two. This lets the other members get to know you and learn more about your personality.
Ask Questions
Once you’ve interacted on a few topics, it’s time to jump in. Start your own discussion by asking a question and seeking opinions. Don’t ask about something controversial just to get attention.
Instead, focus on asking a question that requires a complex answer. A simple yes-or-no question won’t allow you to start a deeper discussion. Instead, try to ask a “Why…?” or “How…?” question. These tend to invite more conversation and give you a chance to learn more about other members.
The great thing about online communities is that they expose you to perspectives from around the globe. This allows you to learn new things and broaden your own horizons by making new friends.
If you crave genuine connection online, you have to be authentic. Some people mistakenly believe that to be authentic, you have to share your entire life online with absolutely no filters. But that’s not true.
You can be authentic and build lasting relationships without oversharing or annoying your community. Here a few ways to show your true self to your online friends and followers…
Share the Bad
Most people automatically share their good moments on social media. They take a selfie of their new hairdo or post about their vacation adventures or proudly display their latest commission check.
There’s nothing wrong with publishing these details online. But if you only show the good side of your life, people may struggle to trust you.
You’ll appear more genuine if you post about your bad moments occasionally. This means you can go ahead and upload that post-workout gym selfie, broadcast a shot of your messy workspace, or share a snap of how your fuzzy your hair looks after you ran in the rain.
Present a Slice of Life
Sometimes, being authentic can be as simple as posting about a common occurrence that other people can relate to. For example, Faydra Koenig, a crisis coach, frequently posts photos of her coffee cup from Starbucks.
She shares the images to show the unusual ways servers attempt to spell her name. She does it in a light-hearted way without embarrassing anyone or shaming them. She simply has a laugh and lets her friends in on the joke.
Participate in Conversations
You wouldn’t take your friend to a crowded restaurant and spend the entire meal ignoring her. If you did, your friend wouldn’t feel loved. She’d be upset and wonder why you bothered inviting her if you had no intention of spending time with her.
It’s the same concept with social media. If you have friends and followers responding to your updates, take a moment to engage with them. You don’t have to write lengthy responses. When a friend comments, you can say something simple like, “Thanks for listening!” or “Love hearing your perspective on this!”
Own Your Quirks
What do you geek out about? Maybe you love collecting action figures from your favorite Sci-fi movies and you’re always adding new ones to your collection. Maybe you live for ugly Christmas sweaters or you’re obsessed with trying different recipes.
Sharing something you love and showing off your inner dork is a great way to be authentic online. You’ll attract other people who geek out over the same things and you’ll have a good supply of frequent content since your hobby is already part of your life.
You can be authentic online and still have your privacy. The key is picking which parts of your personality and life you’d like to showcase online.
Selfies are photos you take of yourself. Usually, people share their selfies on social media websites like Facebook and Instagram. Selfies can be a helpful way to promote your products or your business and share your lifestyle.
Yet there can be a dark side to selfies. Taking dozens of selfies while searching for the right angle or obsessing over how various filters will make you appear can be warning signs that your selfie habit might be going too far.
But how do you know if your selfies are actually a bad thing? It can be helpful to ask yourself four simple questions after you snap a picture…
How Do I Feel?
I remember when taking selfies made me very anxious. So, I would change clothes until I got an outfit that I thought sent the "right" message. And then I still wouldn't like the way I looked so I would pick out a different top and change my hair. I'd try different camera angles or locations. Nothing seemed to make me feel confident.
Sometimes, a selfie habit is more about seeking external validation than anything. I used to suffer from low self-esteem because of my weight. My selfies were my way of proving that even though I was fat, I still had a great business and a great life. When I realized this, I knew I needed to make a change.
Why Am I Sharing This?
Some people take selfies as a way to document a moment and remember it later. That’s why you might be tempted to take a selfie during a fun vacation or snap a picture during that beautiful sunset.
But before you share that picture on social media, ask yourself why you’re sharing it. Are you hoping to impress someone? Are you trying to make your life or your business seem better than it really is? Are you secretly wishing to make others jealous? Or are you genuinely eager to record the moment?
How Much of My Life Am I Publishing?
When you snap a picture, take a moment to review it. Pay attention to what’s in the background of your selfie. You could accidentally put yourself or someone else at risk if you’re not careful.
If you’re walking around your neighborhood, is your street address visible? If you’re in a setting like an event or a restaurant or party, are there others in the background that might not want to be in your picture? If you’re inside the changing room at your gym, are people in the background exposed?
Am I OK If This Goes Viral?
A tasteless selfie can seriously damage your reputation and even cause you to lose business. So before you post, ask yourself if you’d want your team, customers or extended family to see this photo.
Don’t rely on privacy settings to save you. Anyone can take a screenshot and share your private photo with the whole world even if you’ve deleted the original image. Once a selfie is online, you have to assume that it may be digitally accessible forever. So make a smart choices that won’t come back to haunt you.
Selfies can be a great way to make you feel confident, document a special moment and share your success. Just make sure you’re snapping and sharing for all the right reasons.
My niece noticed her teenage daughter seemed sad one day. When she asked about it, her daughter shared that she’d been on social media. All of her friends were taking lavish spring break vacations and having plenty of fun while she was stuck at home.
After listening, my niece opened the Facebook app on her phone. She pulled up her best friend’s profile and handed the device to her daughter. “Look through her first ten photos and write down what you see on a notepad.”
Her daughter rolled her eyes but did as she was asked. When she was done, her short list read like this: Victoria is pretty, thin, has a cute boyfriend, and a good job. She’s a big fan of the Steelers and she loves rock climbing.
My niece tapped the list, “Victoria was homeless for a few months as a kid. In college, she was diagnosed with a serious digestive disease. She battled an addiction to painkillers following her last surgery. She just got out of rehab last year. But you can’t see all of that just by looking at her photos. On the outside, her life looks perfect.”
Look Beyond the Selfie
It doesn’t matter how old you are. On social media, it’s tempting to think that what you see is the whole story. But it’s important to remember that most social users are presenting a curated look at their life and their business.
It’s not that people on social media sites are trying to be deceptive. Well, not all of them anyway! It’s just that many people document their happy moments. This includes things like vacations, pregnancy news, graduation ceremonies, and weddings. In business, it means the big pay checks, the rank advances, the events and the lifestyle.
Why Social Media Can Make You Feel Bad
The downside to all of this positivity is that it can leave you feeling like you’re lacking in some ways. You might look at a picture of someone else’s family where everyone is smiling and think that your friend has a wonderful life. She is massively successful in her business and doesn't have a care in the world.
But what she won’t share are the unsupportive remarks her husband makes about her online business. She doesn’t post about her son’s struggle with a learning disability or talk about her daughter’s crippling depression.
How Social Media Affects You
Frequently comparing your life to the lives of others on social media can lead to anxiety and depression. You may find yourself asking yourself questions like, “What if I’m not as popular as her? What if no one likes my selfie? Does that mean I’m ugly? My life isn’t as pretty as hers!”
Comparing your business is just as bad. You can find yourself stressing because it seems everyone has the "secret" to success - except you. You begin to ask questions like, "What if I'm just not cut out to run a business? Why can't I get recruit more reps? Why can't I get more response on my Facebook ads? Am I just wasting money? My business isn't as successful as theirs!"
Ironically, spending more time on social media means you have fewer conversations in real life. This can worsen anxiety and depression, creating an unhealthy cycle that leaves you unhappy and isolated. It can keep you from making the relationships necessary to grow a successful business. Business is built on KLT (know, like, trust). People do business with those they know, like, and trust. And for that to happen you have to actually connect with people!
The good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck in comparison mode. You can disconnect from social media when you notice that you’re feeling bad about yourself or your life. The more you do this, the easier it will become to break social media’s effect on your outlook.
