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Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Do It Afraid

Stop letting fear hold you back!

When you’re focused on becoming fierce, it won’t be long until you bump up against some fears. Maybe you worry about what other people will think. Perhaps you doubt you can accomplish your goals. Maybe you’re trying something no one else has done before. Whatever your reasons, fear is a natural part of the process. It’s your inner voice trying to keep you safe.

The problem is that you can’t grow if you’re always living in your safety zone. If you truly want to grow and become fierce, you have to leave the comfort of the known. Here are a few tips to make that journey easier…

Take a Tiny Step

I almost drowned as a child and I used to be afraid to go near bodies of water after that. So when I had to learn to swim in college, I was panic-stricken. But swimming was part of the PE class that was required and so I had no choice.

I took a tiny step by going to my local store and purchasing a swim suit. A few days later, I went to observe my friend during her swimming class and observed a kind nun teaching her students how to float. (All-girl Catholic college, y'all).

The next time I went to the pool, I went into the water ankle high. I kept focusing on the tiny steps one at a time so my big goal didn’t feel quite so overwhelming or impossible. With the support of Sister Cornelius, I was able to swim 6 different strokes by the end of the semester! (Too bad I couldn't use them when my kayak flipped! But those lessons did keep me from panicking!)

Ask for Accountability

Sometimes, overcoming a fear is easier if you know other people are watching you. For example, when I wanted to finish my first book. I'd been talking about it for years but had never actually completed it. So I announced publicly that I would be writing my book that year.

I joined an online writing group and posted daily about my progress. Knowing that my fellow writers were following my journey gave me the courage to keep going. Even on the days when I didn’t feel like writing, I still showed up because I didn’t want to let myself down. And I didn't want the other group members to see me quit.

Create a Point of No Return

Barb had struggled with video marketing for years. She wanted to do it but she was terrified of messing up in front of the camera. So she would record a few takes, get discouraged that her videos weren’t perfect then give up.

But Barb’s husband encouraged her to create a point of no return so that she had to post daily videos that were livestreaming. Barb liked the idea because it would force her to let go of her perfectionist tendency. So she announced that she was doing daily Facebook Live videos on her fan page.

At first, no one paid attention to Barb and that made it easier for her to keep going. As time went on, her reach grew and she started to build a supportive community around her videos.

Bring a Friend

You can go a step further than I did and bring a friend along with you on your next adventure. My friend Chris loves to try new things. But she is older and a bit shy and so she worries she’ll feel out of place. So she invites me to go with her so she doesn’t have to face a bunch of strangers on her own.

I have discovered many new things and have had some interesting experiences while tagging along with Chris. And Chris has discovered some exiting new hobbies that she loves and has made a whole new circle of friends. It all started because we were willing to be fierce together.

If you’re struggling to become fierce, don’t keep it inside. Find an accountability partner or a supportive friend and do it afraid. Then watch as your life is transformed by new fierce choices

2 comments:

Mitch said...

First, regarding swimming, the last time I was in a pool I almost drowned. That was in '76, and I've never been close to water that I can't control again.

Sometimes those things are traumatic, and unless we have to deal with them again, it's easier to stay away and not worry about them. But as you've indicated, when we have to deal with things that distress us without any experience, it's much easier to begin if we focus on the reality of the situation because it's usually not that bad.

I tell that to people who are scared to start blogging or do videos. Most of the time people are alone in their own space; that's the best time to give it a try. I've encouraged a lot of people over the years and I feel honored that so many of them have thanked me for getting them to start.

But I'm still not getting in the water! lol

Melodieann Whiteley said...

Mitch, I completely agree. I used to be terrified to do videos. Then a friend entered me in a video challenge. So now I could either back out and have to admit my fear or step up and do it afraid. I accepted the challenge and while I am not the most professional videographer out there, I do them and actually enjoy it. And they have been a big boost to my business. People tell me they like them because they are REAL!