Tools for Overcoming Fear and Becoming Fierce

Fear often shows up when you decide to be fierce. It’s that nagging voice in the back of your mind that makes you doubt yourself, worry you’ve made the wrong choice, and wonder if you shouldn’t turn back. This fear is holding you back from living your best life. Fortunately, you don’t have to live with it. There are tools that can help you overcome it. Here are just a few…

Build a Strong Support Network

Surround yourself with other fierce women. That’s what I did when I retired from the military. I became friends with many of the women involved in local issues and politics. Talk about some FIERCE women! Every week, I would have lunch or coffee with the women I now call my “dream team”.  And even though it's been 20+ years...and even though COVID-19 has put a TEMPORARY halt to the lunches and coffees...I still connect with many of them regularly. We support each other through the ups and downs of marriages, children, careers, health concerns, and more.

The more you're surrounded by brave action, the more likely you will be able to step past the fear. Knowing that you have a network of women who will always have your back can motivate you to try new and exciting things.

Get to the Root

What’s really making you feel funky? Are you worried about starting your own business? Or are you simply worried that your spouse won’t be supportive? Are you fretting over publishing your memoir? Or are you nervous over what your mom will think about it?

Sometimes we fear other people’s reactions more than we actually fear doing something. The activity is easy. Dealing with the fallout can feel much harder.

Ask: “So What?”

When Jenny wanted to start a business flipping houses, her stepfather fretted that she would lose everything she owned and end up homeless. He kept bringing up the issue and eventually, Jenny got into tizzy.

A kind friend asked, “So what?” She pointed out to Jenny that she’d already been homeless once before and survived. “Even if you fail,” Her friend said, “It’s not the end of the world. It’s just one more step in your journey.”

When you’re worried about what could go wrong on your next adventure, take a moment to think through the consequences. Are they really that bad? Or do they merely seem that way at first glance?

Embrace Prayer

I find that leaning into prayer can help me deal with my fears. Turns out I'm not alone. Research has shown that many people turn to prayer when confronted with a fearful situation. You can do this by repeating a beloved Bible verse, asking God for peace, or listening to worship music.

One reason that prayer can be effective is because it reminds us that we’re not in control. When you view yourself as part of a bigger picture, then things like failing an assignment or getting rejected on a dating app don’t overwhelm you in the same way.

Try Meditation

Betty is a public speaker. When she worries about sharing her message in front of a new crowd, she meditates. She imagines the event and focuses on all the ways it can go right. This positivity helps her disconnect from her fear.

There are plenty of guided meditations on YouTube. Some meditations encourage listeners to think of walking through a forest, a winter snowstorm, or relaxing on the beach. These recordings can be relaxing and help you release any anxiety or fear you’re carrying.

Overcoming fear isn’t a one-time task. Fear will always rise to bring challenge in you, no matter what you’re doing. The goal isn’t to get rid of fear. It’s to embrace fear, thank it for what it’s teaching you, and live your life.