My dad had recently moved in with me and my family after the death of my mother. He suffered from Alzheimer's and just needed a little extra support. Normally, he would have stayed at home with my husband. But it just happened that he was also out of town for work. And so I had checked my dad into an assisted living facility for a trial visit. If he liked it, we had discussed moving him there so he would have company during the day. I worried about him alone all day out on the dirt road while my husband and I were at work. When I dropped him off I promised I would call him as soon as I got to GS Camp, just to see how he was doing. The facility had been recommended by several people I knew who also had aging parents, so I was confident that he would find his stay enjoyable.
The phone rang several times before someone answered it. When I identified myself and asked to speak to my dad, there was silence on the other end of the line. Then suddenly the night manager was on the line. It seemed they did not know where my dad was. The facility was not that large, so I questioned how hard it would be to have someone go look for him. And that's when they dropped the bomb. He was not in the facility. Somehow he had been able to walk out the front door and was now somewhere in downtown Rogers...presumably. They had staff out looking for him and she assured me they would find him. I told her I was on my way back and hung up the phone.
I informed the other staff and the volunteers of the situation and ran to my car to begin the drive home. It was only 2 hours but it was the longest 2 hours of my life. As I raced towards home, I silently berated myself. How could I have left him in such a place? Why didn't I reschedule the training weekend? How was I supposed to DO this...take care of him and not completely disrupt my own life?
I reached the facility in record time, totally stressed and sick with worry. What if they hadn't found him? What if he was lost or injured? I was sure he was frightened by not knowing where he was. I ran inside and thankfully, there he was. Sitting on a sofa in the common area. Drinking a cup of coffee. That's where he had gone. He thought he had seen a coffee shop next door when I dropped him off (it wasn't) and he wanted a cup of coffee. He was looking for one when a police officer found him. Then he looked at me with fear in his eyes and asked, "Why did you leave me here? Did you forget me?"
I'm not sure how he was able to actually walk out the front door of the facility without someone stopping him. And I worried that he might one day decide to go for a cup of coffee while he was alone at my house. Only this time there wouldn't be anyone to go look for him quickly. Life on the dirt road is a bit secluded!
It was in that moment that I knew I had to make a change. I had to find a way to care for my dad and still make a living. As I drove back to camp with him in tow (yes, I registered him. At 72, my dad became the oldest first time Girl Scout!), I started thinking. I realized that I had simply been playing "sort of." I "sort of" had a business at home, but not really. I "sort of" knew what I needed to do to actually make money...but not really. I "sort of" put in the effort to learn and grow...unless I was busy with something - ANYTHING! - else. And I knew that the reason for my failure was my own doubt and uncertainty. It was distorting my perceptions and allowing me to be overpowered by fear.
As I drove through the darkness back towards camp, I started telling him where we were going and why. I told him about all of the new volunteers who were taking on the daunting task of helping to mold our girls into capable, courageous young women, even though many of them were hesitant and uncertain. But they had stepped up in faith that those of us who had gone before would teach them and support them. Because without them, there would be no troop for their daughters. There would be no programs to teach them and help them grow. And so they stepped forward, because they had no choice. Their daughters needed them. They would find a way to figure it out. And that thought taught me a powerful lesson - a truth that became the turning point in my business.
I was like these women. Hesitant and uncertain. But I had no choice. My dad needed me. I needed to step up in faith that I would find a way to figure it out. I knew people. Successful people. It was time I stopped faking it and started actually making it! I looked at my dad, smiling and content to be going with me on an adventure as he called it, and made the decision that NOTHING would stop me from doing what I needed to do to care for him.
How about you? Are you "sort of" building a business? Are you letting fear and uncertainty hold you back? Are you letting the naysayers convince you that you cannot succeed? Are you ready to step out in faith that you can do this? Do you believe there are many people out there that will help you?
That weekend was the turning point in my business where I realized how much was at stake. And as we take this journey together, I want today to be a turning point for you.
So here are some things to think about.
- What is your "WHY"? Why are you building a business? And no, it's not so you can have more money or more time. It's the reason you want more money, more time. My why was caring for my dad. Now it's spending time with my husband and family. I'm a Boomer. I'm not getting any younger. I want to experience all I can with them while I'm still able. It's important to know your "WHY". When your "WHY" is big enough, you will find the "HOW". I promise!
- As you make the commitment to finally do this thing, you have to tune out the naysayers and "Negative Nellies." There will always be people who doubt you. Don't listen to them! Surround yourself with people who will build you up and support you. There are lots of us out here! You may have to leave some of your old friends and acquaintances behind as yo you start your new life. And that may be hard. But if you want to succeed, you must cut the negativity from your environment. Trust me. You will face enough challenges without someone standing behind you telling you this is never going to work.
- Find the tools and training you need to succeed. Yes, this will probably require an investment. But you don't have to invest a fortune to get started. You can invest thousands of dollars if you really want to. But until you are truly on your way and actually making some money, why bother? There are plenty of tools and training and coaching available for a very small investment. I invite you to join the Ninja Marketers. Here you will find a community of entrepreneurs who support and help each other succeed. Best of all...it's free!
So, are you ready to start turning?
My life changed that weekend. No I was not able to reach the point where I could stay home and care for my dad. But I was able to leave the job that required me to travel and take a part time job closer to home. And he was able to live with me until the end. He spent his last years in our home, surrounded by kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. It doesn't get much better than that.
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