Toss Away Your "Could Haves" and "Should Haves"

It's Toss Away Your "Could Haves" and "Should Haves" Day!  And you are invited to be part of it! For one day, you are invited to toss away a certain "should have" or "could have" that leads to stress, guilt, misery, or any sort of sadness. What a perfect day to give up some of those regrets that are holding you and your business back!

I should have been able to quit my job by now.
I could have finished my education and gotten a "real" job.
I should have made more prospecting calls.
I could have placed that advertisement.
I should have learned about social media marketing.
I could have started a blog.
I should have published more articles.
I could have attended more networking events
I should have done more____
I could have...

Many people starting a business think they "should" be doing this thing or that thing to be successful.  And then when they don't succeed at the pace they think they "should", they start thinking of all the things they "should have" and "could have" done differently.

When I started my business, I would sometimes work late at night or early in the morning. But I began to get criticism from some of my friends who would get emails or faxes from me at all hours of the day and night. They felt that if I was going to be taken seriously, then I "should" work 9 - 5 like most "normal" business people. I let them persuade me that this was true and tried to change my schedule. But I am a night owl by nature and forcing myself to change my natural rhythm caused stress and made me very unproductive and irritable. And so I went back to my normal routine.  And then when I experienced some setbacks, it was very easy for me to say to they were right.  I should have adjusted my schedule.  I could have if I had wanted to.  It took me a long time to realize that I was right and they were not.   By giving up this "should have" and working when I feel at my best and most creative, I am actually more efficient and productive - and much easier to get along with! Yes, it's true that I do have to be available during some portion of "normal" business hours to interact with clients and prospects. But much of my business is not restricted by time so why should I place this expectation on myself?

There ARE certain things necessary to be successful in business. You have to have a viable product or service. You have to promote yourself and your products or services. You have to earn the trust and respect of your customers. There are many ways to do these things. There is no one way that "should" work for everyone. If your business isn't growing, it's probably not because you should have done this thing or that thing.  You should have done what felt right and worked best for you. 
 
And so today I invite you to toss away your "should haves" and "could haves". Take a look at your business. Make a list of all the things you did because you "should have". Now review your list. Is there anything on the list that was not effective? That caused you stress?  That you spend time worrying about how you "could have" done it differently?  What would happen if you stopped worrying about it and just started over? I encourage you to try it just for today.

I "should have" worked longer today. I "could have" since I had nothing else on my schedule.  But I didn't. It was a beautiful day and I took Bob and Austin for a walk, sat on my porch and read, watched my hummingbirds at the feeder, and talked to friends. And I am not going to worry about what I "should have" accomplished today.  What did you toss away today? I'd love to hear. Feel free to share in the comments.

The Spirit of the Spartan Sprint

For whatever reason, with everything else I have going on right now, I recently decided to participate in a 31 Day Blog Challenge.  That means I am supposed to post a blog entry every day for the next 31 days.  I am also getting a presentation ready for jvAlert Live Denver at the end of the month, participating in the 21 Ways to Make Money Speaking coaching program, writing a book, running my businesses and trying to keep up with my home and family.  Do I look crazy to you?  I think I must be! 

In addition to writing each day, we are encouraged to read the posts of other participants.  So today, since my mind is mush and I didn't have one good idea to write about, I decided to do that first.  The first blog I checked out is A Pocketful of Rocks written by Lisa Friedt.  This was the first time I had checked out her blog and her post on Growth is Intentional was great.  I liked it so much that I scrolled down to read some of her previous posts.  And that's when I found her post about the Spartan Sprint. 

The Spartan Sprint is an obstacle race.  They hold events all over the world.  Her blog post described her participation in her first run.  I was a runner in my military days.  With a former Army Ranger for a husband and Seal Team members for friends, you almost had to be.  It was required!  So I wasn't that interested in how she prepped for her first event.  Been there.  Done that.  And while I must admit I haven't ran in years, I'm sure I could do it again if I chose to.

No, what caught my attention was the part where she wrote about how she and her team decided that no one would be left behind.  That they would finish as a team or not at all.  She wrote about finding a fellow runner on the course who had been abandoned by her team because she couldn't keep up.  To them is was all about the win.  Lisa and her team mates absorbed this woman into their group and with their help and encouragement she went on to finish.  Lots of life lessons to be learned here!

But the part that really struck me was when she shared what she had learned from this experience.  And as I was reading it, I realized that not only did it apply to running, or training, but to business.  And so  I would like to share Lisa's lessons with you and how they apply to your business.

Lisa's Lesson #1) I can do anything I set my mind to.  Lisa decided to run this race and she did it.  The same is true of building a business.  If you truly set your mind to it, you can do it.  The decision is yours.  Make the commitment and then go do it! 

Lisa's Lesson #2) With a strong, solid team you can jump farther, reach higher and make it through a set of monkey bars.  Lisa's team helped her and others reach the finish line even when they thought they couldn't do it.  She did not run this race alone.  And you don't have to run your business alone.  There are so many great people out there who are willing to help you. Or simply provide encouragement when you think you will never make it.  That's one of the reasons I will be going to jvAlert Live in Denver.  To rekindle past friendships with some of the people who have helped me.  And to perhaps be a help to others who are just starting.  Find a team - a mastermind group, a networking group, a coaching group - or just some fellow entrepreneurs to have lunch with now and then - and help each other over the hurdles.

Lisa's Lesson #3) Life is sweeter when shared with those you love.  Lisa's husband and friends ran with her which made the experience that much sweeter.  Don't forget your family while building your business.  Share your successes - and your failures - with them.  Teach your children or grandchildren about your business.  Let them help you.  My grandchildren created some designs for my Tshirt shop and you know what?  They actually sold some!  How cool an experience was that for them?!

Lisa's Lesson #4) Always keep in mind what matters most. I will choose my team over time - every time.  Don't sacrifice your values for the sake of reaching a goal.  It will catch up with you in the end.  If you find yourself dreading working each day.  If you feel sick or anxious when performing certain activities, take a step back and make sure your values are aligned with your business activities.

Lisa's Lesson #5) Sometimes the journey to the top gets dirty. But the view from the top is worth it.    As you can see from the pictures posted on Lisa's blog, she was pretty muddy and banged up by the time she finished.  But it was worth it to know that she had pushed herself and finished.  Building a business is also hard work.  Sometimes you will be pretty banged up by the time you finish.  But oh is it worth it when you see what you have accomplished!

Lisa's Lesson #6) You only fail if you don't get back up.  This was true of the race.  As long as they got up and kept going, they would finish.  The same is true of business.  It may take longer than expected at the start.  It may not end exactly the way you thought.  You will fall down many times before the finish.  But the only way you will fail is if you don't get back up.

I challenge each of you to apply the spirit of the Spartan Sprint and Lisa's lessons to your business.  See you at the top!

PS! Lisa's story has inspired me!  There is an event in Burnet, Texas in May 2014.  I plan to be there!  Anyone else up for an adventure?!

Giving Up My Shoulds

It's "Give Up Your Shoulds Day"!  And you are invited to be part of it!  For one day, you are invited to give up a certain "should" that leads to stress, guilt, misery, or any sort of sadness.  What a perfect day to give up some of those shoulds that are holding you and your business back!
I should be making more money.
I should get a "real" job.
I should do more prospecting calls.
I should do more advertising.
I should do more social media marketing.
I should publish a blog.
I should publish more articles.
I should attend more networking events
I should do more____
I should....

Many people starting a business think they "should" be doing this thing or that thing to be successful.  When I started my business, I would sometimes work late at night or early in the morning.  But I began to get criticism from some of my friends who would  get emails or faxes from me at all hours of the day and night.  They felt that if I was going to be taken seriously, then I "should" work  9 - 5 like most "normal" business people.  I let them persuade me that this was true and tried to change my schedule.  But I am a night owl by nature and forcing myself to change my natural rhythm caused stress and made me very unproductive and irritable.  By giving up this "should" and working when I feel at my best and most creative, I am actually more efficient and productive - and much easier to get along with!  Yes, it's true that I do have to be available during some portion of "normal" business hours to interact with clients and prospects.  But much of my business is not restricted by time so why should I place this expectation on myself?

There are certain things necessary to be successful in business.  You have to have a viable product or service.  You have to promote yourself and your products or services.  You have to earn the trust and respect of your customers.  There are many ways to do these things.  There is no one way that "should" work for everyone.  You should do what feels right and works best for you. 
And so today I invite you to give up your shoulds.  Take a look at your business.  Make a list of all the things you are doing because you should.  Now review your list.  Is there anything on the list that you are doing that is not effective?  That causes you stress?  That you are only doing just because you "should"?  What would happen if you stopped doing it?  If dire consequences would not result, I encourage to consider giving up this action.  Try it just for today. 

I "should" work longer today.  But I'm not going to.  It's a beautiful day and I am going to take Bob and Austin for a walk.  What should will you give up today?  I'd love to hear.  Feel free to share in the comments. 

When the going gets tough, the tough listen to Grandma!

I was saddened today to get a phone call from a friend who started a business of her own 2 years ago.  She lost her job during a round of downsizing and hadn't been able to find a new one.  Her business was growing slowly, and was making enough that, along with her husband's disability, they were making it.  But it was a struggle for her to work her business, care for her husband and family, and still have any free time left for herself.  Her husband has continually pushed her to give up her foolishness and go get a "real" job.  Then all of a sudden her computer crashed and needed to be replaced.  Since her business was online, her computer is essential.  But before she could get a new one, her car broke down.  Then her roof started leaking.  And then her youngest son became ill.  The money she spent on these meant there is nothing left for her to spend on replacing her computer.  And so she is giving in to circumstances and pressure and beginning a search for a "real" job.  Her disappointment and despair were so evident in her voicemail, it made me want to cry.  And so I promptly called her back with some ideas and encouragement.  "Don't give up!", I told her.

If you read my posts and articles with any regularity, then you know I have gone through some STUFF in my life.  But my grandma always told me that God would never send me more than I was able to bear.  Remembering, that I would sometimes utter a prayerful "Why" but then determine that there must be a reason for whatever was happening and even though I may not understand what it was at the moment, I was secure in the knowledge that I would get through it.  And so I would pick myself up, dust myself off, and move forward.  Sometimes slowly and painfully, sometimes with purpose and determination, but always with the knowledge that I would prevail in the end.

The same thing can happen in your business.  Everything is moving according to plan.  Your business is growing, money is coming in, you're gaining more recognition and with it more clients and then - "BOOM".  Something explodes and when the dust settles, it leaves you wondering what happened and where do you go from here. 

An unexpected business setback can leave you questioning your own abilities to be an entrepreneur.  Maybe you really aren't cut out for this.  A nice secure job with a steady paycheck may be your destined path.  It can make you wonder if all the naysayers who told you your idea wouldn't work were right.  Maybe they know more about this than you do.  Perhaps you should listen to them and just give up. 

When I was going through some of the more difficult experiences in my life, I often wished there was an easy way out.  But the price for giving up was always so high that it was never really an option.  But in business, often you can just walk away.  You tried, it didn't work, now you're finished, no harm done.  But here too, the price for giving up can be more than you realize.

You started your business for a reason.  It may be due to the need for additional income.  Or, as in my case, circumstances in your life made it difficult to have a traditional job and still fulfill other obligations.  Or you may dream of building something bigger and better for your family.  Regardless of your reason, the cost of walking away from it can be huge.  If I had quit during any of the many setbacks I experienced, I would have missed out on all the time I had with my father before he passed away.  That's a high price to pay.  If you started your business to replace a lost job, or because you need additional income to provide for your family, what will be the cost to them if you quit?  And what kind of example are you setting for others who may be watching, waiting, hoping that you succeed so they can get courage, inspiration, and support from you?  You believed in yourself and your business in the beginning.  Don't let that belief falter just because you have stumbled.  Get up, dust yourself off, and let's move forward.

One of the things that helped me through whenever life got tough was being surrounded by a network of strong and caring family and friends who would remind me that this was just temporary and that I would get through it.  They provided advice, assistance, and sometimes just a shoulder to cry on.  It has worked the same way for me when experiencing a business setback.  I have surrounded myself with others who think the same way I do.  When I hit a bump in the road, they are there with advice, support, assistance, and encouragement. 

If you are feeling like the time has come to just give up, stop.  Tap into your network of friends and mentors.  Chances are one of them has been through the same thing and can help.  At the very least, they can provide ideas and encouragement while you work through this current obstacle.  If you don't have such a network, build one.  But whatever you do, don't quit.

Three of my favorite quotes remind me of this whenever I feel discouraged.  I keep them hanging on my office wall - just in case!

For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour. - Mary Kay Ash

Have you got a problem? Do what you can where you are with what you've got.- Theodore Roosevelt

God will never send you more than you can bear. - Grandma

Treat Your Business Like a Business

My grandchildren have been spending the past few days with me while their Mom and Dad prepare to give me one more to add to the brood. It has been so tempting to just close up shop and spend time with the kids. They are full of excitement and energy right now with a little brother on the way. They want to be home. They are impatient to have all of this over with. They don't seem to be able to entertain themselves for even a few minutes. It's all very distracting.

Just when I was about ready to give in, turn off the computer, contact my clients and tell them I was taking a few days off, and focus all my attention on the grandkids, one of my coaching clients reminded me of something I had told her when she first started: Just because you work from home, you still have to work. You have to treat your home business like a business! Thanks for the reminder.

Thinking that if I needed the gentle reminder, so perhaps did others, I've decided to share with you the advice I gave to her.

First, it's a business. Treat it like one. If you think you are going to sign up for free affiliate programs, put up some free classified ads, then sit back and watch the checks roll in, don't quit your day job. It doesn't work quite that way. You can't own a McDonald's franchise without a little upfront investment. The same is true of any business. You can find some legitimate businesses that are very inexpensive to start. It only cost me $299 to start with Fortune Hi-Tech Marketing. And there are some very good affiliate programs such as SBI that are free to join but pay very good commissions. But you still need to invest a little bit in advertising.

Once you have decided on the basis of your business, you need to learn all you can about your internet marketing and your business in particular. There are many ways to do this and you will find all kinds of "gurus" offering to help if you will pay them enough. Some of them really do know what they are talking about and some of them don't. I can personally recommend some of them and you will find them mentioned in many of my earlier posts. You can also read this blog from the beginning for help. Be prepared to spend a little bit of money on some of the better books, courses, and seminars. Consider it part of your "online marketing degree!"

Let everyone know you are in business! This seems to be one of the biggest obstacles for most online marketers. Either they think they can't afford to advertise or they don't know how to do so effectively. Some, especially the network marketers, are afraid to do so because they think no one will take them seriously. Let's face facts. You can't slap a McDonald's on a street corner and expect to do business if no one knows McDonald's exists. You can't expect customers to find you if they don't know who you are. Tell people! If you don't have money to advertise, start by telling everyone you know. You can do that pretty inexpensively and you know far more people than you realize. When I started in Fortune Hi-Tech Marketing, the first thing I did was send an email or a postcard to everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) I could think of telling them what I was doing and inviting them to visit my website. Some of them ignored me (FHTM is network marketing, after all). Some didn't. Some of those that visited became my customers. Six of them even became involved in the business with me. Those six have helped me build a team of almost 400. Not too bad for a few emails and a postcard or two. And the ones who laughed? They aren't laughing so much anymore!

Work your business. The number one reason most internet marketers fail is that they give up. They just quit. They don't make thousands of dollars overnight and so they just stop working. Do you know how much my first FHTM commission was? 84 cents! Two years later I'm not going to tell you how much I make, but it's enough to support me quite nicely. Am I a millionaire? Not yet. But I make more than enough to live on. So get up and go to work every day. If you have to keep your regular job while you build your business, that's okay. Just be sure you do at least one thing everyday to move your business forward.

Go to work at least 6 days a week. I know - many entrepreneurs say they work 7 days a week. But even God took a day off. Choose one day a week to relax and focus on your family and yourself. It's necessary to maintain some balance in your life or you will burn out. I don't normally work much on Sunday. It's the day I spend in fellowship with my church family and focusing on my husband, children, and grandchildren. But the other 6 days of the week, I'm at work. You need to do the same. Even if you are still working at a job while you build your business, you absolutely must devote some time to your business everyday except one if you want to grow.

Schedule your time when you are most productive. I am a night owl by nature. You will often find me working online until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. And if you interact with me personally, you will quickly find out that I don't schedule meetings or phone calls in the morning very often. I maximize my time by scheduling around my own internal clock. Meetings and phone calls in the early to late afternoon. Paperwork and computer work in the evenings or very early morning. If you have to work a set schedule because of job or family commitments, then do your best to prioritize your schedule based on your available hours.

Just say no! Just because you now work from home does not mean you are available to run errands, watch sick kids, have coffee or long, leisurely lunches with friends. You are running a business and you will have to teach your family and friends that you are serious. I had to work very hard to make my family understand that during certain hours of the day, I was simply unavailable unless it was an emergency.

Internet marketing is just like any other business. You will get out of it what you put into it. I can't promise you will get rich. I can promise you that if you find a legitimate business or affiliate program, take the advice of those who have gone before you, let people know you are in business, concede that you aren't going to get rich without some investment, and most importantly, WORK YOUR BUSINESS and DON'T GIVE UP - you can make a living online. Heck, if I can do it, so can you!

Align Your Business with Your True Self for Maximum Success

Although the formal launch of my coaching program is still a few days away, I am already thrilled to be working with a great group of women - my inaugural class! I'm so excited! I can't remember the last time I was so eager to get up and get to work that I'm having difficulty sleeping! It's amazing! When your profession and your passion merge, anything seems possible!

This has been a question raised by some of my coaching team. How do we find the business that's right for us? And my answer is to find your passion and pursue it. How do you find your passion? What brings you the most joy in life? What makes you feel completely fulfilled? If you had the ability to do anything you wanted, what would it be? I love to help others grow and develop. Being present in that moment when someone takes that next big step or makes a breakthrough and knowing that I helped in some small way is almost intoxicating. What is it that makes you feel that way? You probably know. But, perhaps, like I did, you keep your true love buried.

Why? Why would someone deny their true calling? Lots of reasons. Whenever I mentioned teaching other women as a profession, my dear friends would look at me as if I wre insane. "Teach them what?", they would say. "What kind of money can you make doing that? Who would pay you enough to live on? What do you know that someone would pay you for?" Family members would remind me that they counted on me to help make ends meet and there was much to be said for a steady paycheck - even if it wasn't a very big paycheck. But the one that usually would make me sigh and turn away from my dream was the subtle hint that perhaps I thought I was too good for the likes of my blue collar family. That hard work every day was somehow beneath me. That I was, perish the thought, LAZY!

Is pressure from family members or others you respect and admire keeping you from your true profession? Don't listen to them! They may have the best of intentions, even playing match-maker with you and a career that seems to be a good fit… to them. Or it could simply be the fact that they gave up on their dreams long ago and they resent you for pursuing yours. Maybe not consciously, but deep down, they're jealous and afraid and if they can keep you on their level, they won't have to face their own failure.

Why? Why would you let someone else have control over your destiny? Perhaps you feel trapped, as I once did. A newly single mom with small children. No job skills really. I was military - in a career field that did not necessarily translate well to the civilian world. But I needed to find a way to make additional income to support my daughters. How could I possibly devote time and energy to pursuing something that may not ever pay off? I needed to make real money now for the sake of my family. Time enough for dreams later. But later never comes.

Do you feel trapped in whatever situation you currently are in? Are the doors for other opportunities closed? Perhaps you don't see a way to make it happen financially. Perhaps you think that you are too busy, too young, too old, or that it is too late. But it's never too late. And there are successful businesswomen from all age groups and walks of life. The only difference between them and you is that they dared to look beyond the barriers and imagine what could be possible. Instead of saying "I can't" they said "Maybe I could....". And once they started imagining ways to overcome the obstacles to their dreams, suddenly they were able to acknowledge that this was their purpose, their mission, their profession.

Do what you love to do. It's the key to true success. Take the time - right now! - to find your passion. Then do it! Don't worry about what others will say. Surround yourself with friends and mentors who understand that you HAVE to do this thing and will support you. Chart a plan of action to take you, step by step, to your dream. If you run into a roadblock, don't give up. Keep focused on your vision until you find a way over it, through it, or around it.

When I announced that I was FINALLY taking my business in a direction that just felt right, I received some words of encouragement from my friend and mentor, Beverly Mahone. I'd like to end this post by sharing those words with you.

"You sound so enthusiastic about this whole project and your new Boomer Biz Coach venture! If you do what you love, you'll love what you do! It definitely sounds like you have a winning combination!!!"

What's your winning combination?